Excerpt

February 27,1973

"Today is my birthday, that seemingly milestone year of forty-five. But it does not seem a milestone at all to me. I see no great dividing line in my life unless it is the day we do the inevitable and send Noah away. The other night I told Karl we might have to find a place for Noah soon. "I like Noah," Karl said. "He can always stay in my room."

January 7,1975

At this point let me be honest with myself: What is my attitude toward Noah? How do I view him? I think, put simply, I view him as a responsibility, someone I have to take care of--almost like a job that has to be done. Because if we don't do the job, who will? It's our job by elimination. And I mean job, just a job. I am no Job and Noah is no great affliction and neither of us is part of any cosmic test--or otherworldly joke.

May 23,1976

How I love Noah. A love beyond sex. A love beyond need. A love based on service. A love in fact. He can be so endearing--putting his face up to mine to be kissed. I guess every pet has its wiles. But he is my pet."

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