"Men would like to think that when a woman reaches menopause, it's the end of romance," announced Actress Gloria Swanson, 77. "But it's really the beginning of everything because there's no worry about whether to get pregnant or not. Women find a sense of freedom and abandonment." Swanson's verbal abandon came during a taping of TV's syndicated Good Day show. The unsilent screen star discussed her taste in men ("broad shoulders and narrow hips") and her recently acquired sixth husband, Author William Dufty, 60. "Biologically, a woman is younger and lives longer; it's the men who give up," asserted Gloria. "Of course, my sex life is very healthy." Should a grandmother of seven be talking that lustily? "I'm a matriarch now," exclaimed Swanson, "and I can say anything I want to!"

It was not John's Bargain Stores that attracted a couple of oil-rich Arab shoppers last week. In Seattle, spokesmen for the Boeing Company confirmed having discussions with agents of King Khalid ibn Abdul Aziz, 63, of Saudi Arabia. His Majesty, it seems, is in the market for a monster five-story-high 7475P jet that would probably cost upward of $50 million and include a stratospheric throne plus a royal hospital room wired for communication via satellite. Back in Chicago, meanwhile, emissaries of Qabus bin Said, 35, Sultan of Oman, were content merely to rent space on a 747. Of course, the plane was needed to haul off some of the Sultan's own purchases, including six custom-made Cadillac Sevilles, one Porsche, a 25-ft. ocean-going speedboat with trailer, and a Chevy truck. The merchandise seemed practical enough.

Once there was a Swedish prince named Bertil, who fell in love with a volunteer nurse named Lilian. The two wanted to wed, but alas, the King disapproved of his son's marriage to a commoner. Faced with losing his place in line for the throne, Prince Bertil decided not to marry Lilian. But that was not the end of the affair--the couple set up housekeeping on the French Riviera and later at more palatial quarters in Sweden. Eventually, the old King died, and his grandson, Carl Gustaf, and not Prince Bertil, assumed the throne. The new King decided that his still unmarried uncle had put duty before matrimony long enough. Last week, blessed with his nephew's consent, Prince Bertil, now 64, and Lilian Craig, 61, announced a new phase to their 33-year romance--marriage, on Dec. 7, at Drottningholm Castle near Stockholm.

Resplendent in a purple, lace-cuffed outfit, tricornered hat and horn-rims, he looked like a happy straggler from a Bicentennial parade. But no, that was Arizona Senator Barry M. Goldwater, 67, manning the battlements on Maryland's Chesapeake Bay last week. Called back to active duty to help restage the Battle of St. Michaels, in which American artillerymen beat off an attack by British ships during the War of 1812, retired U.S. Ah" Force Major General Goldwater took command of the defenses, fired off a few ceremonial cannon--and considered the meaning of it all for an old political warhorse. "This is the only fight I've ever been in," conceded the unsuccessful 1964 G.O.P. presidential candidate, "that I knew I would win before I started."

Their show was literally socko, but it was no laughing matter when Comedians Bill Cosby and Tommy Smothers got together during a party at Hugh Hefner's Los Angeles mansion. As soon as Smothers, 5 ft. 9 in., 150 Ibs., spied Cosby, 6 ft., 180 Ibs., he walked over and extended his hand to congratulate him on his new TV show Cos. "But he wouldn't shake it," lamented Tommy. "He said something like 'You've been asking for it,' and as I turned to Hefner, he slugged me." First Smothers dropped like a falling pebble; later he went off for X rays of his swollen cheek. Though Cos offered no explanation for the one-clout bout, Tommy hinted that it all might have started with a run-in on the Tonight Show back in March. And what will Smothers do the next time he meets Cosby? Answer: "I guess I'll have to hit him again--with my face."

Retired or not, Heavyweight Champ Muhammad Ali continues to bob and weave--only this time it may be through the divorce courts. His wife, Khalilah Ali, has charged him with adultery, desertion and "extreme and repeated mental cruelty." In Khalilah's behalf, a Chicago judge last week extended a restraining order prohibiting Ali from squandering $6 million he earned from his victory over Ken Norton last month. "Muhammad should stop and get himself together," Khalilah told one interviewer, adding that her husband was a "very confused" man. "He can't decide if he should quit fighting, and what he should do after he does quit. Muhammad will say one thing, and then go ahead and do something else." None of this seemed to stop the Champ, who turned up in Miami Beach to begin working on a movie biography titled The Greatest, which features Ali as himself, and Ernest Borgnine as Trainer Angelo Dundee. Said Ali modestly: "Move over Paul Newman; get out of my way Dustin Hoffman; I'm gonna get you, Robert Redford

After six consecutive Mr. Universe championships and five more as Mr. Olympia, Austrian-born Bodybuilder Arnold Schwarzenegger decided that he needed to add some flux to his flex. "When people say musclemen are musclebound, it's because of the way they move up there onstage," the strong man observed. "I thought I should get some help from somebody who's really graceful." Arnold promptly began taking ballet lessons and last November snatched his sixth Mr. Olympia crown before retiring from competition. Last week he was back at the bar, rippling his 22-in. biceps and practicing plies with Ballerina Marianne Claire--all for the love of a new flick titled Pumping Iron, featuring Arnold, 29, as himself. "If a lean guy moves gracefully, you can understand it," says the 220-lb. isophile, who is known as the Austrian Oak. "But if a huge, muscular guy moves gracefully, it's a mind blower. It can be really beautiful." Whatever you say, Arnold.

As a photographer, Candice Bergen

will go to any length--and depth--for a good picture, a fact she proved during a foray into Pennsylvania coal country in search of women miners. Joining a 4 p.m.-to-midnight shift near Johnstown, Bergen rode 800 ft. into the earth for a work session with her subjects. Her enterprise was not universally approved. "When I returned the next day, the foreman met me at the entrance and said the men had threatened to strike if I went back down," said Candice. "The men feel that their decades in the mines have been obliterated by the media, by female upstarts like me." A case of chauvinism in the shafts? Reported Candice: "When I asked one woman miner if she would change her life at all, her answer was no. She only wished she could have had this job 20 years ago."

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