Coping with How-to-Cope Books

When Norman Vincent Peale wrote his bestselling The Power of Positive Thinking in 1952, he attempted to "demonstrate that you do not need to be defeated by anything, that you can have peace of mind, improved health and a never-ceasing flow of energy." That no doubt remains the basic objective in the current profusion of books offering advice on how to cope with life, but the new authors differ from Peale in the emphasis they place on self-care and psychological detachment. Among the standard themes in the current crop of self-help manuals:

Man in his natural state is happy. It is society (culture, laws, social expectations) that makes him unhappy. Psychologist Fitzhugh Dodson writes in The You That Could Be: "Our society . . . grabs ahold of these spontaneous, loving, self-confident toddlers . . . and makes them into caricatures of the persons they could be."

Don't try to change society; regulate yourself so that society doesn't bother you. "Choose to do the things that make you feel good about yourself," advise Psychoanalysts Mildred Newman and Bernard Berkowitz in How to Be Your Own Best Friend. Don't fume about the tax laws, because you can't do anything about them anyway, says Psychotherapist Wayne W. Dyer, author of the top-selling Your Erroneous Zones.

Love of self is the basic task of life. It brings a sense of worth and immunizes against sorrows, even the death of a friend or relative. Bob Hoffman, a self-proclaimed psychic and former businessman, writes in Getting Divorced from Mother & Dad: "With self-love, death no longer brings severe depression."

Guilt, worry, depression and helplessness are learned responses that can be unlearned. If an individual determinedly decides to be happy, these obstacles (also called "barriers," "rackets" and "erroneous zones") will disappear.

Each person is responsible for his or her own happiness and not anybody else's. "You can't make anyone feel, be or do anything," Psychology Instructor Bernard Poduska writes in his book You Can Cope. So don't try. Instead, concentrate on your own emotions.

The current attitude toward emotions is a notable switch from the 1960s, when self-help books usually advised readers to express whatever they happened to feel. Now the advice is to choose one's emotions. If a person loses a job or a loved one dies, he or she can decide to be upset or simply get on with the business of life.

Therapist Dyer sets up the advice as a syllogism -- a risky step in a genre usually devoted to deploring rationality. His logic: I can control my thoughts; my feelings come from my thoughts; therefore I can control my feelings. To Dyer, who wrote his book in just 13 days, it is all very simple: "Mental health is not complex, involved or hard work. It ought to be just common sense."

This brand of positive thinking, plus a catchy title and heavy promotion, is making Dyer wealthy. Your Erroneous Zones has sold 150,000 copies in six months and is now No. 2 on TIME'S bestseller list. A balding, hitherto little-known professor at St. John's University in New York, Dyer, 36, says he practices what he preaches about emotional control. When he underwent oral surgery without an anesthetic, he felt no pain. He chose to feel pleasure by fantasizing erotic images and recalling positive things in his life.

Some of Dyer's advice: Don't look for social approval. "No matter what you do, half the people you know will disagree with it anyway." Try not to deny yourself anything in life. "Outlaw self-denial unless it is absolutely necessary -- and it rarely is." Don't fret that you are doing nothing important in life. "Nothing is more important than anything else. The child collecting seashells is not doing something more right or wrong than the president of General Motors making a corporate decision."

Like most other self-help writers, Dyer suggests forgetting about the past and future -- always live in the present and live each moment fully. "Prisoners of war," he says, "survived in the most terrible circumstances. Their secret was learning to appreciate the small things that made up their daily existence -- a tiny crust of bread, sunrise from a cell window." In sum, the most salable self-help philosophy for the disillusioned '70s seems to be: Minimize pain, concentrate on self, and try to find joy even in horrible circumstances.

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