Who is that giant female gorilla clambering over St. Paul's Cathedral in London? Why, it's Queen Kong of course. A tawdry rip-off of Dino De Laurentiis' hugely publicized $22 million remake of King Kong? "I like to think," Producer Keith Cavele says of his $3 million sortie into camp, "that although it may be a ripoff, it's mostly a satire and a send-up." Director Frank Agrama, whose last film was a bawdy intergalactic epic called Flesh Gordon, has already begun location shooting in the "tropical" south coast of England, with 50 chorus girls as native dancers. But the heartsick Queen Kong cares only for --you guessed it--Ray Fay.

After surviving 13 months of marriage to Cher, Rock Star Gregg Allman now faces divorce from his fellow musicians. The Allman Brothers Band "has been having problems for about a year," concedes Capricorn Records Vice President Mike Hyland, who points out that three members have recently formed a new group called Sea Level. Already miffed by Allman's preoccupation with Cher during the recording of the group's last album, Win, Lose or Draw, the band was reportedly outraged six weeks ago when Gregg testified in, a drug trial against his former road manager, John ("Scooter") Herring. Convicted of procuring drugs for Allman in 1974, Herring received a 75-year prison sentence. Though Capricorn President Phil Waiden refused to "rule out the possibility" of the group reuniting, other record company officials were less optimistic. "Gregg Allman," said one Capricorn spokesman, "is a very sore subject around here."

Jimmy Carter's hair "is styled very well for his face," but Ronald Reagan's slicked-back coiffure "is in the past; it is what we were using 15 or 20 years ago." So says Milton Pitts, 58, who has been clipping important political heads of state since Richard Nixon appointed him as the White House barber six years ago. Last week Pitts paused to consider this year's crop of presidential candidates. "I don't think I would change Jimmy Carter's hair if I were his barber," said Republican Pitts. His advice for Reagan: toss out that greasy-kid stuff. President Ford, who visits Pitts in his West Wing shop for a shampoo and trim every ten days, favors "a contour cut, very soft and natural." The President, he adds, "doesn't have as much hair as the others." -

Daniel Patrick Moynihan, former ambassador to the U.N. who is now seeking New York's Democratic nomination to the Senate, has obviously let politics go to his head. Appearing in Manhattan for the opening of his volunteer campaign headquarters, Moynihan donned a star-spangled stovepipe hat and struck a candidate's pose. A bid for Lincolnesque stature? Said Moynihan: "I refuse to concede the hat vote to anyone in this election." Or the frock coat vote, apparently.

"She knows a lot of people, and she's known them in a unique way," mused Genesis Publisher Norman Hill. The object of his reflection was Elizabeth Ray, 33, former clerk and mistress to Ohio Congressman Wayne Hays and, according to Hill, Genesis' reporter at next week's Republican National Convention. Ray, who sent Capitol Hill skirt chasers running for the covers with her revelations of sexual shenanigans in Congress, will file her report for the December issue of Hill's skin magazine, says the publisher. "She'll carry a tape recorder everywhere she goes, and she'll write it out in longhand," Hill added. "She can't type, you know." -

When we last left Loretta Haggers, the guitar-strumming neighbor of TV's Mary Hartman, she was faltering on the road to country-music stardom. Her recording of Vitamin L had stalled on the charts, and some unexpected family problems had poor little Loretta singing the blues. Take heart, soap fans. Loretta, or rather Actress Mary Kay Place, will soon be singing a different song in New York, New York, Martin Scorsese's upcoming movie about the Big Band era. "I have thrown off my bouffant wig for Betty Grable pompadour curls and ruby-red lips," announces Place, 28, who plays the part of a 1940s nightclub singer opposite Liza Minnelli and Robert De Niro. "Loretta would love the film," insists Mary Kay. "It's a great love story, and Loretta loves a love story."

In his Broadway run in The King and I a quarter-century ago, Yul Brynner needed a two-hour makeup job each night for his role as the irascible, middle-aged King of Siam. "That effort is no longer necessary," confessed the actor in St. Louis, where he is leading a roadshow revival of the Rodgers and Hammerstein classic. "Now, at 56, I am exactly the right age." With Actress Connie Towers, 43, playing the part of Anna, the show has attracted some exuberant reviews and one critic's observation that Brynner has grown "a bit thicker in the middle but no balder" in the past 25 years. Even if he is older and wider, the actor would like to finish his tour by returning to Broadway in 1977. Says Brynner: "A role like this comes only once in a lifetime, and then only if an actor is very, very lucky."

Lodged in the lower ranks of the American League East, the Detroit Tigers are hardly a threat to the runaway New York Yankees. Still, when the Tigers came to New York last week, more than 49,000 fans showed up at Yankee Stadium. The reason: Mark ("the Bird") Fidrych, 21, Detroit's rookie righthander and resident flake. Nicknamed because of his gallinaceous similarity to Big Bird of Sesame Street, Fidrych came to town with an impressive 11-3 won-lost record and a certifiably manic style of pitching. He shouts advice to the baseball, encouragement to his arm, and scratches round the infield like Groucho Marx possessed. It was not enough to ruffle Yankee batters, however, who belted two home runs and beat the Bird 4-3. Hadn't he spoken to the ball as always? "I did talk to it," insisted Fidrych. "That's life, I guess." -

"All I want to do on my days off is sleep," insists Actress Valerie Perrine, who has been performing her own stunts in a film about a female private eye. It is called Windfall, with the emphasis on fall: jumping from a burning helicopter, Perrine sprained her ankle; in another episode, she was thrown from a horse; on location at the Grand Canyon, she got a bad case of acrophobia and fainted. Fortunately, the perils of Perrine include a few scenes best done lying down. One of her favorites is a phony rape incident, staged to inspire a rescue by Co-Star Terence Hill and eventually some romancing. "I think it's fun because you have a leading man and a leading woman," says Perrine, "instead of a leading man and a leading man."

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