Front-Line Report

By G.M.

TUSCALOOSA'S CALLING ME ... BUT I'M NOT COMING

This is a communique from the Gotham front: propaganda ease the long taxpaying days ahead -- and a warning to the boonies that New Yorkers have not lost their greatest asset -- gallows humor. The trio of Renny Temple, Patti Perkins and Len Gochman are so charming however that their hardest blow is gentlest satire. There is a visit to Cold Cash, New York's First Passionate Bank, and a chat with an ancient on a park bench who used to bet with his late wife -- "Whoever goes first loses." Norman Mailer crosses the Hud son as the city-nation of N.Y.C.'s first President while a jubilant citizen shouts, "We're recognized by Israel!" The evening's finest gig is a wild flamenco in honor of the native delicatessen: "Out-of-town baloneys/ Are made of horse and ponies." Beware of Boston, too, where "You don't order tonic/ Unless you want a high colonic." Grace under pressure is sometimes no more than a good laugh.

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