The Hat in the Bed

Philosophical principles aside, how can one tell the difference between Republicans and Democrats? Tongue in cheek, the newsletter of the Republican Congressional Committee presents some handy hints:

"Democrats buy most of the books that have been banned somewhere. Republicans form censorship committees and read them as a group.

"Republicans usually wear hats and always clean their paintbrushes.

"Republicans employ exterminators. Democrats step on the bugs.

"Republican boys date Democratic girls. They plan to marry Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first.

"Republicans sleep in twin beds --some even in separate rooms. That is why there are more Democrats."

Could this attempt to portray Republicans as supersquares be a subtle maneuver to win sympathy? After all, who would not feel sorry for a candidate sleeping alone with a hat on, in a room reeking of paint cleaner and Raid, denied even the comfort of reading Joy of Sex?

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