Topical Diagnoses

A bandit armed with a pistol entered the New York City office of a woman psychiatrist not long ago and robbed her. As he backed out the door he fired a shot, grazing the doctor on the head. Thrown into severe shock, she was taken to an emergency ward where the doctor on duty, trying to learn whether there had been brain damage, asked her: "Whom do Ehrlichman and Haldeman hate most?"

"John Dean," came the immediate reply, showing that the patient was clearly on the road to recovery.

A retired professor of international politics, while mowing his lawn recently in Washington, D.C., suffered severe shock when he became entangled in the live wires of his electric lawn mower. When he regained consciousness in the emergency ward, he did not know how many children he had, or recall that he was supposed to make a trip to California the next day.

"Do you know about Watergate?" the doctor asked him. "Of course," the man replied, "don't you?" The doctor turned to the patient's anxious wife and said: "He's going to be all right."

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