Separated. Carl B. Stokes, 45, first black mayor of Cleveland (1967-71), who now deals with the urban crisis from his post as nightly news commentator on a New York City television station; and Shirley Joann Edwards Stokes, 36; after 15 years of marriage, three children.

Married. Diahann Carroll, 37, fetching nightclub singer, former television star (Julia), and until two weeks ago the permanent and much-publicized fiance e of Talk Show Host David Frost, and Fredde Glusman, 39, owner of a chain of Las Vegas clothing stores; both for the second time; in Las Vegas. Friends for the past two years, Carroll and Glusman first met backstage after one of the singer-actress' Las Vegas appearances.

Died. Elaine Shaffer, 47, leading lady of flutists; of cancer of the lungs; in London. Shaffer first performed with the Kansas City Philharmonic whose conductor, Efrem Kurtz, she later married. With a playing style distinguished by flawless technique and warm, full-bodied tones, she became one of the world's most widely acclaimed solo instrumentalists.

Died. Winthrop Rockefeller, 60, former Governor of Arkansas and second youngest member of the Rockefeller brotherhood that includes Nelson, Governor of New York, and David, chairman of the Chase Manhattan Bank; of cancer; in Palm Springs, Calif. A Yale dropout, Rockefeller was an oilfield roustabout and Army infantryman before settling down after World War II to tend to his share of the family fortunes--and to New York cafe society. When his first marriage to former Showgirl Barbara ("Bobo") Sears went awry in the early '50s, he left New York for the Arkansas hills, built a ranch and gradually became the state's biggest booster and leading Republican organizer. Adopting western boots and a straw hat as his trademark, Rockefeller brushed aside charges that he was a "jet-set cowboy," offered Arkansas voters a mildly conservative platform and in 1966 was elected the state's first Republican Governor since Reconstruction. After his re-election in 1968, a stubbornly Democratic legislature proved a major obstacle to many of his programs, and two years later he was defeated in his bid for a third term.

Died. Patrick McGinnis, 68, former railroad securities analyst who switched from rating railroads to running them (Norfolk Southern, 1947-52; Central of Georgia, 1952-53; New York, New Haven & Hartford, 1954-56; Boston & Maine, 1956-62), but went off the track in 1965 when he was convicted of engineering kickbacks in the sale of B & M surplus cars and sentenced to 18 months in jail; in Glendale, Ohio.

Died. Elizabeth Bowen, 73, Irish novelist whose sensitive tales of young girls awakening to the reality of adulthood (The Death of the Heart, The House in Paris) earned her comparison with Virginia Woolf and Willa Gather; of lung cancer; in London. Descended from Irish gentry dating back to the age of Cromwell, Bowen moved to England as a child, briefly studied art, then found her forte during the '20s as a writer. Among her best books was The Heat of the Day, an account of life in London during World War II.

Died. Joseph Szigeti, 80, Hungarian-born violin maestro, who made his debut in 1904, his first recording in 1908; in Lucerne, Switzerland. A restrained, elegant performer in the classical tradition, he was also an early proponent of 20th century Composers Sergei Prokofiev and Fellow Hungarian Bela Bartok.

Died. Frank Costello, 82, onetime "prime minister of the underworld," whose nervous hands and hoarse voice became familiar to the nation's television viewers during the Senate crime hearings of 1951; following a heart attack; in Manhattan. In the classic pattern, Costello graduated from teen-age street gangs to bootlegging to control of a national slot-machine racket with estimated annual revenues of $2 billion. By investing widely in police, legislators and legitimate businesses, "Uncle Frank" became a power in New York City politics. He managed to elude any major convictions until his reluctance to testify fully before Senator Estes Kefauver's crime investigating committee cost him a 14-month prison term for contempt of Congress. He later served a 31/2-year term for income tax evasion. After an unsuccessful gangland attempt on his life in 1957, and a long, successful battle against deportation, Costello spent his last decade in quiet retirement, cultivating his Long Island garden.

Died. Charles S. Mott, 97, U.S. auto pioneer and philanthropist; following a severe case of influenza; in Flint, Mich. After moving his family's axle business from upstate New York to Flint in 1907, Mott sold the company to General Motors for shares of G.M. stock. He spent six decades on G.M.'s board of directors and was at one time the company's largest single stockholder. Though legendary for his personal frugality, he established the Charles Stewart Mott Foundation in 1926 to finance education, health and recreation programs, and built it into one of the nation's largest philanthropies.

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