Pop Goes the Bible

By * William Bender

J.B., a record-industry mogul: "You all know why we're here."

Staff: "Right, J.B."

"Religion is in, protest out. Right?"

"Right, J.B."

"We have to move fast. We can't do the seven last days of Christ, because those English kids beat us to it with J.C. Superstar. We can't do a Mass, because Lenny Bernstein's got that market cornered. But that's the kind of product I'm after. I want a heavenly voice, and I want message."

"Well, J.B., we have here a property called the Messiah. It's got everything going for it, starting with a steady, 230-year track record. It has a Christmas section and--get this--an Easter section too. How can we miss? And listen. There's a Pastoral Symphony for the country-and-western crowd. Set it to rock and--"

"Boys and girls, I buy it. Just keep the beat and the chord changes simple. And don't forget to put a cross on the jacket cover."

That probably is not the way the new RCA rock version of Handel's Messiah came into being--but one wonders. Rarely has so much conceit, commercial cynicism, bad taste, musical ignorance and all-round incompetence been brought together within the grooves of a single LP. Written and arranged by Producer David Axelrod (Electric Prunes), conducted by the jazz world's Cannonball Adderley, the RCA Messiah has something to offend everyone. For lovers of vocal style, there is singing that would not pass muster in the 1950s-parody group Sha-Na-Na. For devotees of pure rock, there is numbingly dreary rhythm and somnolent guitar work. For connoisseurs of modesty, there is this blurb on the record jacket by the album's producer, Ronald Budnik: "It is hoped that Axelrod's work will bring to light and punctuate the creative acumen of Handel. . ."

Handel will survive; so will Messiah. What Axelrod's work really brings to light is the fact that the sheep of the record industry are off and herding again. Not all of the new religious-rock LPs -- the sons of Jesus Christ Superstar -- are blatant ripoffs. Indeed, a few display genuine sincerity, even talent. But all of them, the best and the worst, demonstrate that Superstar Authors Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice do seem to have something of a monopoly on skill and taste in the field. Items:

Truth of Truths (Oak, $9.96; two LPs). Nothing less than both Testa ments, from the Creation and Fall to the Resurrection and Prophecies. A DeMille-like cast of composers, arrangers, soloists, orchestra, chorus and a bored Jim Backus ("Mr. Magoo") intoning into an echo chamber: "I am the living God." Ghastly.

Rock Requiem, by Lalo Schifrin (Verve, $5.98). An adept, well-intended tribute to the victims of Viet Nam, unfortunately lacking the snap and originality that Schifrin brings to his commercial Hollywood scores (Mission: Impossible, Mannix).

Divine Hair-Mass in F, by Gait MacDermot (RCA, $5.98). Lackluster settings of the Sanctus, Benedictus, Agnus Dei, Kyrie, Gloria, even the Lord's Prayer, combed into hits from MacDermot's Hair, just as they were in the original presentation last year at Manhattan's Cathedral of St. John the Divine.

Rock Mass for Love (Decca, $5.98). A live recording of a celebration last March in St. George's Cathedral. Perth. Australia, presided over by the Dean of Perth, the Very Rev.

John Hazlewood. In addition to being a rare sampling -- for the rest of the world -- of Australian rock, this is a surprisingly effective blend of hot licks and liturgy. Tom Davidson's rock group. Bakery, shows the influence of Britain's Traffic, Bruce Devenish's Jazz Ensemble that of several top U.S.

jazz combos. Together they underline Dean Hazlewood's pronouncements with simple directness and, occasion ally, clever point.

The Survival of St. Joan (Par amount, $9.96; two LPs). The cast recording of a 1971 off -Broadway show based on the legend that Joan's life was spared by substituting another girl at the stake. Though hardly an orthodox look at Joan (among other things, she has a love affair with a farmer), Survival comes across well enough on disk, largely because the group Smokerise manages to operate within the rock mainstream (Beatles to Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young) and still have something original to say.

Hard Job Being God, a selfstyled, self-conscious rock opera by Folk Singer Tom Martel (GWP, $4.98). Amen.

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