"If this thing breaks," muttered Jackie Gleason, gingerly hoisting his 225-Ib. bulk up a ladder, "the whole joint closes." On the rooftop of his "weird castle," Gleason clinked a teacup against beer cans held by construction workers and admired the traditional "topping-out" tree, signifying that exterior construction had been completed on his dream house near Fort Lauderdale. "We'll never get in before Christmas," he sighed. It will be worth the wait. Sprawling over five levels, Gleason's house has 14 rooms, "at least" five bars, and a price tag of $500,000. There are only two bedrooms, but, says Gleason, "We have a lot of places to dine, to shoot pool and to drink. It's a fun house."

In what remains of the counterculture, pig has become a term of derision reserved for male chauvinists or the fuzz. To Rock Musician James Taylor (TIME cover, March 1), however, pig means only happiness. Taylor's pet sow Mona took first prize (swine division) in the 110th Martha's Vineyard Agricultural Society Livestock Show and Fair, and later had the ultimate award bestowed upon her: a purple ribbon for being the best animal in the entire fair. Said the elated Taylor: "I'm as proud of her as I can possibly be."

Noticing a long-haired teen-ager eating an ice cream cone and chatting with a girl in a parked car, a policeman in Hyannis, Mass., told the youth to move on; the car was blocking traffic. "He appeared dazed and unsteady on his feet, and his eyes were bloodshot," the officer later explained. So he asked the youth if he was drunk. "No," said 17-year-old Robert F. Kennedy Jr., and, according to the cop, spat a mouthful of ice cream into his face. Hauled into court on a loitering charge (just two weeks after his one-year probation for possessing marijuana had ended), he pleaded no contest and was ordered to pay $50 in court casts. When Kennedy explained that he did not have the money with him, the judge gave him a week to scrape up the fifty.

The day after Julie Nixon Eisenhower showed up for work as a third-grade teacher at Atlantic Beach Elementary School near Jacksonville, Fla., she and a custodian were moving a book cart. It toppled over, crushing the big toe on Julie's left foot. Posing for her first picture as a housewife in the Atlantic Beach house that she and Ensign David Eisenhower have rented while he serves aboard the guided-missile cruiser U.S.S. Albany, Julie showed off her large plaster cast to photographers. Then, after learning that her cast may have to remain on from four to six weeks, Julie "with extreme disappointment" decided to give up her teaching job. Instead, she plans to serve as a volunteer teachers' aide when she recovers enough to get around.

The painting is orange and yellow and blue and pink, and shows a handsome profile set among waves, clouds, angels and a Viking ship. But whom does it portray? Viewers may have their doubts, but the man who created it insists that it is a portrait of President John F. Kennedy. "This is the way that Kennedy flowed out of my pen," said Artist Peter Max as he unveiled his work, which was sold at a charity auction for the benefit of Boston's Drug Abuse Foundation. "It was a surprise to me that it came so easily," said Max, who took only two days to paint it, "and that the drawing really had a resemblance to him."

It was a stormy night at sea ten years ago, and the decks of the Queen Elizabeth were rocking furiously. But that did not bother Actress Olivia de Havilland; she spent part of the evening dancing and drinking champagne with a handsome fellow passenger. Last week she was invited by her old shipmate to a party at his official country residence. Olivia, seeing British Prime Minister Edward Heath for the first time in a decade, observed that he "was looking so courteous and attractive and suntanned." Sipping champagne again, Olivia told Bachelor Heath that they were both born under the same sign in the Chinese horoscope--the sign of the dragon. "It means the middle years of your life are lucky," said Olivia, 55, to Heath, who is the same age. "But the last third is luckier still."

It was the first University Professor of Engineering Chair at the University of Cincinnati, and it was created expressly for Astronaut Neil Armstrong, who announced that he was leaving NASA. "I have thought about teaching for more than 20 years," explained the first man to walk on the moon. A university spokesman conceded that there were few full professors of engineering on the Cincinnati faculty who did not have doctoral degrees (Armstrong has a master's in aeronautical engineering from the University of Southern California) but added: "We don't have any others that have been on the moon, either."

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