When Actress Sophia Loren arrived in Manhattan last October, she was robbed of $1,000,000 in jewelry. Last week, returning to make a film, she discovered that the October rascals had just been snared, but that no loot had been recovered. Determinedly sitting through a series of police lineups, Sophia successfully fingered the two culprits, then departed to shoot scenes in an appropriate location: thief-infested 42nd Street.

It was Martha Mitchell on the phone again, this time speaking her mind to the Washington Star. "I resent, regret and abhor that the news media has (sic) taken upon itself to interfere with possible lines of communication with the Viet Cong," announced Martha. Criticizing the continued publication of the Pentagon papers, she blasted "the indiscreet judgment that smells of political implications on the part of the press, which has reached such an extent that it may result in complete suppression of the press--in which event it will have caused its own death." Though it may have come as a surprise to many, the Attorney General's wife insisted that her remarks were meant to help the press: "I don't want to see them destroy themselves."

For all the discussion about California Governor Ronald Reagan's chances for the presidency, an even greater fuss is brewing over the sincerity of his hair. Purred Attorney William Coblentz, a Democratic Party strategist and regent of the University of California: "After all, Reagan is 60, and if he doesn't move soon, it'll be too late. You can dye your hair, but you can't dye corpuscles. Reagan is a menopausal Gary Grant."

When Tennessee Williams' A Streetcar Named Desire arrives in Russia, it will have a happy ending. Just how . happy, no one seems to know, least of all Author Williams. The Russians, it seems, are rewriting the play more to their hearts' desire. Williams doesn't mind the rewrite, but he regrets something else: no royalties. Russia has never signed an international copyright agreement. The resigned Tennessee says, "I understand they hold the royalties and give them to you when you go there. Then you live in high style."

After wriggling and pouting her way to fame as an oversexed nymphet in the 1962 film Lolita, Actress Sue Lyon went through a disastrous marriage. She is now making a comeback as George Hamilton's wife in a new motorcycle epic. She has remarried--this time to a struggling Los Angeles photographer named Roland Harrison, 33. Harrison hopes to become a successful freelancer, and his 25-year-old wife hopes to rise above her reputation as screendom's synonym for overheated pubescence.

Since Composer Gian Carlo Menotti launched his Spoleto Festival 14 years ago, Spoletini have enjoyed raking in the profits. Menotti began to worry that they were missing the cultural meaning of it all, so he held a meeting and urged them to "make the whole city a festival." The fiesta-fond Italians took him at his word, celebrating Menotti's 60th birthday with brass bands, torchlight processions and 2,000 signed testimonials of affection. Awakened by a rendition of his own Triple Concerto, the composer sniffled: "Before this I felt like an ornament. Now I feel like a household utensil, and it's wonderful."

"Scurrilous, slanted, unfair and sensationalized . . . designed to undermine public confidence in me," sizzled FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover after reading an article in the National Observer. What particularly irked Hoover was the retelling of an anecdote from former Attorney General Francis Biddle's 1962 book In Brief Authority. It seems an FBI agent had gone to tap the telephone of Left-Wing Longshoreman Harry Bridges and dropped an incriminating FBI letterhead during his visit. Biddle and Hoover rushed to the office of President Franklin D. Roosevelt to explain. Tickled, F.D.R. supposedly slapped Hoover on the back and said, "My God, Edgar, that's the first time you've been caught with your pants down." Retorted Hoover: "There never was a time when Mr. Biddle and I were together in the presence of the President."

Since he finished a 17-year prison term in 1969 for robbing a bank, 70-year-old Willie ("The Actor") Sutton has been writing his memoirs and haggling with publishers and film producers. "I'm supposed to have taken $2,000,000 in my life," he said. "Everyone asks me where it's buried. Well, I haven't got a cent of it." No problem: if the book and film people pick up his option, crime may yet prove profitable.

Actress Greta Garbo has rarely been photographed in the past 30 years. Though Film Director Luchino Visconti has been trying for months to coax her into looking into the cameras as the Queen of Naples in a new film, Garbo has not said yes. On the other hand, she has not said no. Actually, she has said nothing at all--only taken a plane to Nice and tried to dodge a waiting photographer. Unsuccessfully, for a change.

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