Unbirthdays

Nothing to celebrate tonight? Consider all of the unbirthdays that the nation's mayors, Governors, and even Presidents have provided. If you missed cherishing May 1 as Give Your Girl a Pearl Day, there is still ample time to observe International Play-Your-Own-Harpsichord Month, which is also National Tavern Month. Have a Bach beer.

The churchly calendar of saints' days may have become obscure to many; yet Americans have cloaked nearly every day, week and month of the year with a quaint secular significance. All of Illinois, for example, can look forward to June as Fight the Filthy Fly Month; Georgia observes Barbershop Harmony Week, Conway Twitty Day, and Georgia Hat Week.

Recently, Arizona Governor Jack Williams, bought some trouble by proclaiming May 28 as John Birch Day, supposedly in honor of an Army Air Corps captain killed by Communist Chinese in 1945, and not in tribute to the right-wingers who borrowed his name. Williams pointed out that he has also proclaimed a Martin Luther King Day. Diseases like syphilis have grown to epidemic proportions, and California is now in the midst of VD Awareness Month, observed among other things with buttons that advise: PROTECT YOUR LOVER.

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