No Kisses for Achmed Bond

He moves with the speed of an aroused mongoose. His brilliant black eyes swiftly size up the enemies who are always near by--drunken Americans, leering Rhodesians, simpering Portuguese and, particularly, shifty Israelis. His photoelectric brain registers all details equally quickly. His life consists of "violent periods interspersed with short pauses spent in simple pleasures," but those pleasures include neither smoking nor drinking. Women? With his athlete's body and his eagle's profile, he is catnip to the ladies, but he spurns them --particularly those with wanton Western ways. He is a gentle man, except when provoked. "There is a time for diplomacy and there is a time for fighting," he says. "The time for diplomacy is long past. Violence must be answered with violence." He is Lieut. Mourad Saber, 32, Agent SM-15 of Algerian counterespionage, and he is at least twice the man that 007 ever was.

So far, the invincible SM-15 has outwitted imperialists, colonialists and Zionists in five books released by the Algerian State Publishing House. No Phantoms for Tel Aviv, Halt Plan Terror!, Rescue the Fedayeen Girl, Vengeance at Gaza and Hangmen Also Die are tailored for Arab readers. The fact that they are printed only in French, however, has restricted their audience in the Arab world. Even so, Saber has won himself a following of camp-conscious European devotees who affectionately refer to him as Achmed Bond.

Indeed, there are numerous similarities between SM-15 and the indefatigable James Bond. Both are equally skillful at planting explosives and pulverizing adversaries. Of course Saber, while he is shooting two South Africans in the head, heroically confesses that he feels "a certain repugnance" toward such necessary bloodshed. Where Bond's nemesis is the satanic spy network SMERSH, Saber's is Shin-Bet, the Israeli counterespionage agency, and especially dark-haired, black-eyed Lieut. Colonel Isaiah Shader. ("A true Semite, that one!")

Saber and Bond also share a masochistic taste for cold showers. But where 007 likes his champagne chilled and his women hot, Saber is a devout Moslem who takes his lemonade without sugar and says "no" in Arabic, English, French, Spanish and Portuguese. "Cover yourself," he admonishes one toothsome hussy, "you look like a French prostitute." In No Phantoms for Tel Aviv, the delectable Amalia coos, "I have everything you could want," as she attempts to steal a tape recording from him. Snaps Saber: "I have other things to do." He has not been nicknamed "Son of God" for nothing.

The Saber series is the work not of an Arab but of a French writer who goes under the pen name Yousef Khader. Explaining his anonymity in a letter to the Algerian newspaper El Moujhaid, the author said: "These days it is extremely dangerous to denounce the criminal aims of imperialists and Zionists. I cannot reveal my true identity for security reasons."

One Eye Open. Saber is not everybody's idol, even in the Arab world. El Moujhaid's literary critic found the books "lacking in style and humor" and decided that author and hero "ludicrously underestimate the caliber of Israeli agents." But Arabs are momentarily short of other heroes, and so SM-15's cult is growing.

After all, who but Mourad Saber sleeps with one eye open against the militarist, fascist Zionists? Who else could uncover a Central American conspiracy linking the United Fruit Co. and B'nai B'rith? Who else could resist the sensual, calculating Israeli agent Judith Hertz ("You have the body of a goddess but the soul of a devil")? Who else could interrupt an African chase to lecture streetwalkers in Lourenc,o Marques on the evils of colonialism?

And who but Mourad Saber could steel himself to the charms of Asmaa, daughter of his trustworthy Saudi Arabian assistant? As she served Saber fish soup, "her dress had an outrageously low neckline; her shoulders were bare almost to her breasts. Mourad was not made of wood; he blushed and a shiver went down his spine. 'Asmaa,' he said sternly, 'you lack reserve.'"

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