In Defense of Hatred

Love is not the only emotion that makes the world go round. So does hate, says Beverly Hills Psychoanalyst Ralph Greenson. Failure to teach children how to hate properly, he warns, is "a primary source of emotional disturbance and behavioral disruption." Without a touch of hate, in fact, no family can be happy.

A youngster knows that he is capable of hating, Greenson recently told a meeting of the National Association for Mental Health, so trying to hide the inevitability of hate from him is a mistake. Guilt and parental pressure may force him to bury his true feelings, but "hate in disguise is more dangerous than when it is open." A mother kicked in the shin by her four-year-old, for example, should not react with a hypocritical mixture of hidden venom and saccharin: "We don't kick people, do we? Say you are sorry, darling." Instead, she should vent her feelings honestly and shout at the child "or even swat him."

Many things in life are worth hating, Greenson notes, and hatred can be valuable in stimulating creative action. Simply experiencing hatred in a daydream may suffice to maintain mental health. Says Greenson: "A conscious death wish a day, without guilt, keeps the analyst away."

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