As a belated reward for his heroic World War II exploits against the Japanese, the one-eyed, one-handed New Guinea native was flown to Canberra to meet Queen Elizabeth during her recent Australian tour. Ex-Sergeant-Major Yau Wiga did not hesitate to offer political advice--in his best pidgin English. "Me tellin Missis Queen: 'Now queen, I'm one fella pickaninny. Self-guvim New Guinea im e no good. You givim self-guvim New Guinea now, New Guinea e all buggerup.' " The Queen's reply, reports Wiga, sounded something like, "Ooh, ah, ooh."

He looks more at home on a horse as TV's Matt Dillon. But Gunsmoke Star James Arness is a hard-riding surfer who has instilled a keen enthusiasm for the sport in his son Rolf, 18. Says young Arness: "You can get so stoked [deliriously happy] on waves that you can't stand it." His father knows the feeling--and the surfers' jargon. When his bov called from Melbourne, Australia, with the news that he had been crowned world surfboard champion, Big Jim answered, "Son, I'm stoked."

Since the escalation in Cambodia, it seems that Presidential Adviser Henry Kissinger's social life has de-escalated accordingly. Washington Hostess (and spirited dove) Barbara Howar, with tongue partly in cheek, has threatened a unilateral withdrawal from their once flourishing alliance. "I told Henry that I'll be glad to see him any time he wants me to help him clear out his desk at the White House," chides Barbara. "Nothing will kill a romance faster than a land war in Asia."

Under the austere Socialist regime of Tanzanian President Julius Nyerere, miniskirts, cosmetics and wigs are anathema, and beauty contests are banned as "exploitations of human flesh." Small wonder, then, that the government frowned on a visit by "Miss World," Austria's Eva Reuber-Staier. "A society which annually parades its women like cattle to award them prizes," puffed a government newspaper, is "alien to our culture and sense of dignity." Purred Eva: "I am very sorry not to be going to Tanzania. I hear it's a wonderful country --with some very handsome cattle."

Douglas Fairbanks Jr. and David Niven are members. Bing Crosby has been a frequent guest. But at White's, the 277-year-old London gentlemen's club, evidently enough show biz is enough. After Frank Sinatra was shown around the hallowed premises by Fairbanks and a party including the Earls of Perth and Westmorland, one old Tory sniffed: "Doug was a silly old fool to have done that. Bing Crosby, yes. But this is a different matter."

Reward: $10,000 to anyone who can prove that Jesse James was not really J. Frank Dalton, a Missouri storyteller who died in 1951 at the self-avowed age of 107, still protesting his--well, guilt. Such was the offer made by the owner of a Jesse James museum in Stanton, Mo. Jesse's daughter-in-law, Mrs. Stella James, 85, took the museum man to court with her contention--supported by most historians--that the real bandit was gunned down in 1882. Last week she made a clean getaway with the $10,000.

Like thousands of other college seniors in the year of the campus boycott, David and Julie Eisenhower have gone home and will pick up their diplomas without taking final exams. Naturally David, who graduates with honors from Amherst, regretted not being able to demonstrate his talents for his professors. He had to settle for passing the afternoon playing Wiffle ball on the south lawn of his father-in-law's White House.

An old Southeast Asia hand was unimpressed by President Nixon's promise to pull U.S. troops out of Cambodia by the end of June. "In fact he can do nothing else," wrote Novelist Graham Greene in a letter to the Times of London. "Before the rains and the annual flooding of the Mekong, they must either go or decide to act as pioneers in underwater living."

In Boston, the evening's big event was the last-minute victory of Bobby Orr and the Bruins over St. Louis --bringing the city's hockey fans their first Stanley Cup in 29 years. But enough loyal friends and Democrats turned out at an elegant $500-a-plate dinner to raise $300,000 for Senator Edward Kennedy's re-election campaign. Teddy was so gratified that he indulged in a mild boast: "I may not be Bobby Orr," he said, "but I think I'm still a household word in Massachusetts."

"A goodly apple rotten at the heart. O, what a goodly outside falsehood hath." Pravda, the official Communist Party newspaper, was borrowing from Shakespeare to dress up its diatribe against "ill-famed" and "shamefully notorious" William F. Buckley and the U.S. Information Agency. But the goodly apple, touring Russia on behalf of the USIA, was undaunted. "Very poorly written," said Buckley. "After 50 years in the business, you'd think they'd be better at polemics than that. If they'd like, I'd be happy to teach them."

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