Partying Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Most self-made millionaires memorialize themselves by endowing schools and libraries, or giving to museums.

But not Dallas' gruff, shrewd Real Estate Tycoon O. L. Nelms. For more than a decade, Nelms has placed advertisements in the personal columns of local papers saying, "Thank you, Dallas, for helping O L. Nelms make another million." Now he has an even bigger and better idea: he is creating a $5,000,000 fund to provide huge public cocktail parties with free food and drink for anyone who wants to attend. By spending only the income Nelms can give several super swingers a year from now till the end of time. "This would be a real nice way to be remembered," he says.

Other forms of self-commemoration do not appeal to Nelms. "I don't believe in education," he explained when college presidents tried to convince him that schools were nobler than booze. "I only went through the fourth grade myself--and I consider that the last year was wasted." When an opera group sought a subsidy, he said, "If you folks would just put on hillbilly shows, you could be self-supporting."

Nelms is already choosing a planning board to see to it that "none of these parties end after just a few token drinks. I want them to run as long as there's a crowd there to have fun." To house the parties, he recently purchased an office building near downtown Dallas and enough nearby land to provide an adequate parking lot.

There had to be a hitch, and there is. Although the parties will not start till after Nelms' death, Nelms wants to enjoy them too. So, for every party, he has arranged with a local funeral home to have his remains wheeled out in a big silver casket. They will stay at the party until the last guest has gone.

O. L. Nelms is now a vigorous 61, and is in excellent health. "But when he starts talking about those parties," says an aide, "he gets the strangest gleam in his eyes. It's like he can't wait to die and get on with the fun."

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