The Prince, the General And the Greyhound

Once upon a time, there was a boy named Billy Wood. His family, which lived in Tuxedo Park, N.Y., was well off but not royally so. His cousin, though, was a real prince -- Frederick Henry Prince. He reigned over a mighty empire called Armour, which had grown rich from slaughtering and selling fattened beasts.

It happened that Frederick thought highly of Billy. He took him under his shield in far-away Chicago and taught him everything a princeling should know -- which was a great deal -- about running Armour. He saw to it that Billy, who was handsome and quick-witted, traveled and developed regal tastes.

In time Cousin Frederick grew old.

Having no heir to whom he felt that he could leave his crown, he proclaimed Billy, who was then off in the Pacific fighting the Japanese, his legal son. Thus, at 30, Billy changed his name and in 1944 became a true Prince.

Billy Prince rose rapidly and soon established sovereignty over the farthest reaches of the realm. He burnished his Armour by moving into many new fields, like pizza pies and power shovels. Into the coffers, every year for the past four years, poured more than $2 billion. All this good fortune seemed too good to be true.

Then came the black knights. First, Charles Bluhdorn, ruler of the aggressive empire of Gulf & Western, cast covetous eyes at Prince's Armour. Secretly manipulating his pawns on Wall Street, Bluhdorn acquired almost 10% of Armour before Billy could blink. In the nick of time, an ally, the Trustbusters, came to Billy's rescue and went after Bluhdorn with mace and chain. Bluhdorn wisely sold his interest in Armour to another power, General Host, whose ruler, iron-willed Richard Pistell, also coveted Prince's realm. Pistell offered Billy's shareholders a chance to trade Armour stock for his own.

Enough for Both. To protect himself against General, Prince sought an alliance with still another empire, called Greyhound, which derived its power from transporting people in buses. Greyhound was willing to pay more than General, and Billy urged his supporters to accept its beneficence. Many of them did, but even more accepted General's new offer, which was even richer. Soon Greyhound owned one-third of Armour, and General more than half.

Greyhound and General argued over who was going to rule it, but the antagonists quickly realized that the kingdom was big enough for both of them. They called a meeting and asked Billy to abdicate. When he refused, they threatened to take him before the high judges. Rather than risk a fight that he was likely to lose anyway, Billy--still a prince in name and by no means a pauper--gave up his throne last week. After his abdication, the Trustbusters said that they would nonetheless try to stop General from taking over the empire. But Prince was gone, having retreated to clip his coupons and count all his money. Moral: Uneasy lies the head ...

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