Not to Be Believed

Hello, Cyril? This is your roommate Bonn. I have the most divine news. I mean, divine. You remember Modesty Blaisel And The Day the Fish Came Out? Well, now there's a raving new one called The Touchables, and it is absolutely not to be believed it's so--so, well, divine.

There's two gorgeous wrestlers, you see? A white one, Ricki Starr, played by Ricki Starr. And a black one called Lillywhite--don't you just love it? Ricki wears red ballet slippers and pirouettes in the ring. And Lilly has these terrific pectorals and wears a mask like Batman. He kind of falls for this absolutely sumptuous rock-'n'-roll singer, Christian, played by David Anthony. But before he can kidnap him, some wretched girls--the Touchables, they call themselves--capture Christian and spirit him away. They also steal some statues. The statues are the ones with expressions.

Anyway, they take Christian to this house, only it's not really a house but a big inflatable dome. Of course it's a phallic symbol, silly. Isn't everything? The Touchables keep Christian prisoner and make love to him. Women are such wretches, aren't they? I mean, they can only think of one thing. The end? Well, the wrestlers fight it out--divine--Christian goes to Hollywood, the girls get nothing, and their dome deflates.

Cyril, you better run if you want to catch it, because I don't think it's going to last too long. There were people actually booing when I saw it. The wretches.

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