Who Said That?

A campaign corollary to Parkinson's Law might be: Words directed at the electorate multiply in direct proportion to the time and space available on TV and radio and in magazines and newspapers. By any reckoning, the 1968 campaign sets an alltime record for verbiage. Small wonder that with so much talk flooding the ether, the words sometimes get mixed up and Candidate A sounds like his opponent Candidate B, and Candidate C sounds like both. As proof of the theorem, here is a simple test: Match the candidates and their words.

1) THE STATESMAN. Our foreign policy must be designed to secure a just and lasting peace. This can best come about when nations deal with one an other on a basis of mutual trust and understanding. This must be coupled with complete frankness and determination as to objectives and courses of action.

2) THE PHRASEMAKER. My friends, in calling for law and order, we must not stop the fight to combat despair. We must stand for a hand up, not a handout!

3) THE CIVIL RIGHTS ADVOCATE. I think integration holds the key to the racial problem in the U.S.

4) THE LYNDON BUFF. Lyndon Johnson is the hardest-working President of the United States in the 20th century.

5) THE DISCIPLINARIAN. Violence and rioting have no part in America. They must not be tolerated, and if I am your President they will not be tolerated.

6) THE STRAIGHTSHOOTER. Black extremists are using the shortcomings of our society and the frustrations of the ghetto to exploit hate and teach violence

7) THE PLAINSMAN. The reason there are going to be some Texans in my administration and the reason that Texas is going to have a great influence in my administration is because there are a lot of brains in this state. And I am not just saying this because I am on a Texas radio program.

8) THE REFORMER. I stand for an open Presidency.

9) THE EGALITARIAN. Today we live in a land of racial tension, bred of 200 years of misunderstanding, fear and injustice--bred of guilt that the American reality often has been so shockingly at odds with the ideal.

10) THE MAN OF THE PEOPLE. I'm not going to barricade myself inside a television studio and make this an antiseptic campaign.

11) THE LIBERTARIAN. I have no objection to anyone dissenting against anything.

Answers: 1) George Wallace. 2) and 9) Spiro Agnew. 3) and 11) Curtis LeMay. 4), 7) and 10) Richard Nixon. 5) and 8) Hubert Humphrey. 6) Edmund Muskie.

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