Tops & Bottoms

In olden days, as Cole Porter put it, a glimpse of a stocking was something quite shocking. Nowadays the exposed human form has become such a big part of show business that hardly any thing is startling. Just boring -- as two show-biz flops amply illustrate.

>In London last week, a widely heralded underground film called No. 4 had its world premiere, showing nothing but some 300 nude British buttocks, a fresh one every 15 seconds or so for 76 min utes. For sound track, there were the taped comments of the volunteers. "I'm a bit cynical about mine," said a girl who described herself as a model, "because it's worth money." The director was Miss Yoko Ono, 34, a Tokyo-born artist-composer and currently an entrepreneur of happenings in London. The premiere was a benefit for Britain's Institute of Contemporary Arts, a prestigious public patron headed by eminent Art Philosopher Sir Herbert Read. But the point of it all was lost on most Londoners. Sales of the opening-night tickets ($4.20 top) were so slow that many had to be given away. The most appreciative audience response came ten minutes (and 40 rumps) along, when a spectator leaped onstage and stroked the screen image. By the halfway point, fully two-thirds of the first-nighters had departed.

> On the U.S. West Coast, the clubs and restaurants that feature topless female entertainers and waitresses also seemed to be going the way of all flesh. In Los Angeles, 20% of the joints have closed. In San Francisco, where crowds used to queue on the sidewalks waiting even for bar space, tables are going begging and one spot has switched back to old-fashioned belly-dancing. Reasons range from the competing tourist attraction of the hippie haunts in Haight-Ashbury to the high cost of drinks (usually $1.50) at the topless bars. But the chief cause may be simple overexposure. "When you've seen two," said a wag, "you've seen them all." Ray Goman of San Francisco's Gay 60's, who expects the fad to fade out by next summer, notes that his male employees trip over topless dancers every night of the week without batting an eye, but still swivel their heads sharply when a pretty girl walks in--fully clothed.

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