Trial by Marriage

The idea of trial marriage is nothing new; secular freethinkers have been proposing it for a number of years. But facing the large number of youthful weddings that end in divorce, some reputable Christian theologians today are cautiously debating whether temporary liaisons make good common as well as spiritual sense.

Speaking last month to a Protestant conference on welfare work in West Germany, Theologian Siegfried Keil of Marburg University argued that while sexual mores have quite obviously changed during the 2,000 years of Christian history, churchmen nonetheless continue to act as if there were a permanent, inflexible standard of behavior. "Why," he asked, "should it not be conceivable to think of the act of marriage as being divided into several stages, from single life to matrimony?" One such interim stage, he suggested, might be a "recognized premarriage," during which sexual relations by the couple would not be condemned as sinful.

Under Strict Controls. Roman Catholic Father Jacques Lazure, a Harvard-educated sociologist who is on the staff of the University of Montreal, has tentatively proposed that the church might some day consider the institution of "probationary marriages" as an antidote to the high divorce rate among the young. Lazure--who was promptly silenced by his superiors after explaining his views to the Toronto Star--suggested that trial marriages, if ever they are authorized, ought to be surrounded with strict social and ecclesiastical controls. The couples involved should be at least 18 years old, and would be required to practice birth control. Sanctioned by both church and state, such unions might last anywhere from three to 18 months, and could be readily dissolved at the request of either party. Hopefully, however, most would end in permanent marriage.

Although most U.S. theologians are somewhat reluctant to openly challenge traditional church views on the indissolubility of marriage and the sinfulness of premarital sex, there is some support for these proposals. Says Dr. Edward Craig Hobbs of Berkeley's Episcopal Church Divinity School of the Pacific: "Something like trial marriage would be vastly superior to our present system, which is marriage, divorce and remarriage." In addition Dr. Robert Lee of San Francisco Theological Seminary argues that since "intercourse during engagement is becoming standard," the time of betrothal, in effect, "has become a trial marriage."

Paying an Indemnity. Another theologian intrigued by the idea of trial marriages is William Hamilton of Colgate-Rochester Divinity School, one of the leading "Death-of-God" thinkers, who suggests that a betrothal period in which sexual relations are licit would actually be in accord with the marital patterns that prevailed in the time of Christ. Under early Jewish custom, couples who became betrothed often lived as man and wife, without being required to enter permanent marriage. By this custom, if either party objected to formalizing the union, it could be dissolved by a religious court.

A majority of Christian thinkers, however, see plenty of problems that would be created by trial marriages--and they are not about to approve them. Hamilton, for example, admits that "kids today are really committing themselves. Trial marriage just sounds too cool." Dean John Coburn of Massachusetts' Episcopal Theological School asks: "How can two people trust one another on a temporary basis? Marriage is a total commitment, and trial marriage is a contradiction in terms." Some other critics suggest that in trial liaisons that fail, the psychological damage done might be almost as anguishing as that caused in a divorce. Even theologians who concede the inadequacy of church tradition on sex warn that take-it-or-leave-it unions do violence to the basic concept of sexual mating, which is symbolic of what should be a deep-rooted personal encounter.

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