Hearts & Darts For Far-Aparts

"Burp," says the Thanksgiving Day greeting card which, with more truth than tradition in it shows Pilgrims and Indians finishing off their first feast together. "Make this a real Puritan Thanksgiving," says another. "Don't eat your turkey without dressing." With such cards for holidays and for just about any other occasion as well, Cleveland's American Greetings Corp. is the fastest-growing company in the U.S.'s $800 million-a-year greeting-card industry. The trade's five biggest companies--Hallmark, American Greetings, Gibson, Norcross and Rust Craft--have a steady annual increase in sales. American Greetings alone is growing almost 14% a year, this year will have record sales of $94 million.

Little Old Lady. Much of the increase is due to the droll cards the company calls "Hi Brows," which, along with other studio-type cards, now account for 11% of its business. Other cards are designed for the customer President Irving Stone describes as "that sweet little old lady who remembers everybody." Hi Brows are for younger people who want something a little spicier than sugar. Indeed, Hi Brows sometimes hang over the brink of bad taste. "For your birthday," reads one, "just a refreshing wish . . . may your cesspool never clog." For graduation, American Greetings has a suitable Hi Brow: "Your jaw is firm, your gaze is steady, your mind is alert, your head is high . . . your fly is open." Anyone who is tired of traditional Christmas cards can pick up a Hi Brow: "You may be getting a big surprise in your stocking this year. Santa gets airsick."

Such cards emerge from brainstorming sessions that a special staff of American Greetings' artists and editors hold at their offices in a onetime airplane plant in Cleveland. Stone, whose regular staff of 200 creative people is much more dignified, gives his Hi Brows free rein. They include an ex-nightclub comedian, a onetime disk jockey who likes to blow on trumpet mouthpieces while he creates, and an astrologer who owns the largest collection of Batman comic books in Ohio; their office decor ranges from a sculptured bust with a leather flying helmet on it to a tape recorder on which the group listens to old Fibber McGee & Molly radio programs for inspiration.

Christmas Jingle. Elsewhere, creativity is much more subdued and businesslike. Last week Stone's 800 salesmen were calling on the drugstores, supermarkets and discount stores in which American places most of its cards to make certain that they are ready for the biggest single rush of the year. Christmas accounts for half of all greeting-card sales (followed by Valentine's Day, Easter and Mother's Day); well-wishers this year will purchase 7 billion cards altogether. Most buyers like their art and inspiration messages solemn and simple.

Along with its Hi Brows, American Greetings right now is profiting from another change in greeting-card habits. Once holidays and birthdays were the principal business, and there was a long dull season between Father's Day and Thanksgiving. Now "everyday cards"-get-wells, new baby, confirmation, religious cards and bon-voyage messages --account, along with birthdays, for 60% of American Greetings' business, since families are more scattered nowadays. Last week there was even a rush for another of the everydays that American Greetings stocks in its inventory of 10,000 different cards. "Just because you're a Democrat," it goes, "doesn't mean you're odd or obnoxious. Stupid, maybe, but not odd or obnoxious."

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