At Sebring or the Nuerburgring, it might have won him the Grand Prix. But the white Porsche of Britain's onetime Race Ace Stirling Moss, 35, now married to a pretty New Yorker and presumably a sedater, wiser man, was gathering lichen in a Hampshire traffic tie-up until he rolled into the right-hand lane to lap the pack. Whooshing through, he swiped an oncoming red MG that had refused to yield the wrong of way until threatened with extinction. Stirling thought the driver of the MG was "just one of those nuts trying to be cussed," but he was a former fan, who recognized Moss and haled him in to court. The judge flashed the red light: $39 in fines, plus $64 in court costs.

Now it can be told, or at least Anthony J. Celebrezze, 54, Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare, was telling it in Washington last week. In 1953, when he became mayor of Cleveland, his wife heard their five-year-old, Susan, announcing to one and all, "I'm Susan Celebrezze, daughter of Mayor Celebrezze." "You cut that out. You're Susan Celebrezze and that's all," hollered Mamma through an open window. Next day, a neighbor lady gushed, "I know you. You're Susan Celebrezze, the mayor's daughter." "Oh no," said Susan. "My mommy says I'm not."

Lyndon Johnson was there--on tape. "All free men are in your debt," he told the guest of honor, General Curtis LeMay, 58, the recently retired Air Force chief, at a $100-a-plate Air Force benefit in Manhattan. "A lot of people told the general to retire years ago," boomed the voice of another faraway admirer, Bob Hope. "Fortunately, he doesn't understand Russian." While such tributes came over the loudspeakers, the gifts given LeMay were delightfully real, especially a $1,500 Winchester big-game rifle. And so were the decorations from Movieland: Italy's Gina Lollobrigida, Joan Bennett's 22-year-old socialite daughter, Stephanie Wanger Guest, and Kay Gable, 46, Clark's widow, who asked LeMay to autograph his picture for her.

Thundering up from Zurich in a Galaxie, Henry and Christina Austin Ford settled in for a St. Moritz honeymoon at the Palace Hotel, which is as classy as and only a trifle noisier than a Rolls-Royce. They had to take lessons in skiing, of course, but their apres-ski hours with the jet set were cool enough to keep them on the late brunch list. Not so pleasant was their excommunication by the Roman Catholic Church.* The Fords announced themselves "surprised" and "worried." Said Henry: "I will try to sort this out as soon as I return to the States."

"Look homeward, Americans," Stewart Udall, 45, exhorted 900 members of the New York Sales Executive Club in Manhattan. Clad in a sharp sharkskin suit and loafers, the Interior Secretary argued that by seeing the U.S.A. Americans can help stem the gold outflow. "Santa Fe is as interesting as Seville, and the Rockies surpass the Alps. Our Spanish missions and Indian villages have an antiquity transcending Europe's. As for festivals, Pablo Casals' Puerto Rican festival takes no back seat to Salzburg or Bayreuth, nor does the Tyrone Guthrie festival in Minneapolis." That's what the man said.

Novelist Charles Percy Snow, 59, the Labor government's assistant minister of technology, has long labored to bridge the gap between Britain's "two cultures," arts and science. And when he was made a peer, so that he could lead the Laborites in the House of Lords, Britain's tradition-encrusted College of Arms told him that for only $500 he could order his own coat of arms. Result: a telescope fesswise--meaning horizontal (for science), two pens crossed (for arts), snowflakes on a field of azure, and on either side a Siamese cat rampant. Why cats? Well, Lord Snow's ministry oversees the nation's Colleges of Advanced Technology (C.A.T., see?), though whether puns are an art or a science the good lord failed to state.

Unlucky Pierre! His senatorial campaign buttons read "P.S., I Love You," but he lost the election, and one voter has returned her campaign button. Nancy Joy Salinger, 36, the onetime presidential press secretary's second wife, who remained behind when he moved to California last June, will sue for divorce in the near future on grounds of "mental cruelty" or "incompatibility." Married in 1957, the Salingers have no children of their own, but he has custody of the three born of his first marriage: Marc, 16, Suzanne, 13, and Stephen, 12, who now live with Nancy in her Lake Barcroft, Va., home.

"We get lots of celebrities in Saranac," explained Blanche Griswold, 58, a Saranac Lake, N.Y., insurance agent. And so when she hurriedly boarded a twin-engine Convair departing the Adirondack ski resort for New York City, she wasn't at all surprised to see Jackie Kennedy sitting in one of the seats. Still, the cabin was crowded, what with Bobby, and Steve Smith, and Caroline and John-John; and to make matters worse, tables had been set up between the seats. "A waste of space," sniffed Mrs. Griswold, whereupon someone gently remarked, "This plane isn't supposed to make money." It was the Kennedy family Caroline that she had boarded by mistake, instead of her scheduled Mohawk Air Lines flight. But everyone was "most gracious" about her goof. The Kennedys chatted pleasantly and shared their sandwich lunch on the flight down, and Mohawk even refunded her $22.95 for the unused ticket.

*An automatic procedure when divorced persons remarry. The Vatican's L'Osservatore Romano also took the unusual step of noting it in an editorial because the Fords are public figures who might by their example tempt other Catholics to sin.

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