"He Smelleth the Battle Afar Off"

Hardly had Hubert Horatio Humphrey been nominated as the Democratic candidate for Vice President than he managed to put his foot in it. During a weekend campaign-strategy-planning trip to the L.B.J. Ranch in Texas, Hubert was summoned by the President for a walk in a cow pasture. He promptly slipped on some cow dung, but recovering his balance, cried out: "Mr. President! I just stepped on the Republican platform!"

Since the whole scene took place in front of newsmen, some Johnson and Humphrey aides winced at the bad taste of it all, but the Boss himself thought it was about the funniest thing he had ever heard.

Loftier Level. In his loftier-level strategy talks with Humphrey, Johnson emphasized that he plans to devote most of his time to his White House job, playing the part of fulltime statesman. Only on key occasions, such as his Labor Day address this week in Detroit's Cadillac Square, would the President hit the campaign route.

Of course, nobody who has ever met Lyndon Johnson believes that he will actually stick to this stay-at-home schedule, but in the meanwhile Humphrey has been assigned to crisscross the nation in a continuous, hard-hitting campaign. He will concentrate on the Midwest, the Rocky Mountain states and the South, is already scheduling trips into North Carolina, Georgia, Arkansas, Tennessee, Texas, Florida and Louisiana. He may also whistle-stop in California, Illinois and Indiana.

When Humphrey returned to Washington from Texas last week, he got a hearty round of applause and much effusive speechifying upon entering the Senate chamber. Democratic Majority Leader Mike Mansfield, recalling photographs taken of Lyndon and Hubert riding horseback in their business suits, twitted his colleague: "You are better on your feet than in the saddle." Tennessee's Albert Gore quoted The Book of Job: "He smelleth the battle afar off, the thunder of the captains, and the shouting . . ."

And Illinois' Republican Everett Dirksen topped it off with some gentle joshing. "Mr. President," said Ev, "I am glad that a modest Republican can participate, and with some qualification can express his affection and love for the distinguished senior Senator from Minnesota." Dirksen then projected to next Jan. 20, when, as he foresaw events, the Republicans would have won the White House. Purred he: "I want to be able to say with a heart full of thanksgiving, 'Glory be! We love Hubert and we have kept him here!' "

On the Beam. As for Lyndon, well, he just could not help politicking. The A.F.L.-C.I.O. General Board met in Washington, agreed unanimously to support the Johnson-Humphrey ticket, trooped over to the White House 166 strong to tell the President about their unsurprising decision.

The President also played host to a score of U.S. businessmen who have signed on as members of the "National Independent Committee for President Johnson and Senator Humphrey." Beaming benignly at the presence of blue-chippers, whom he has wooed with special ardor, Lyndon invited the group, which included former Eisenhower Cabinet Members Robert B. Anderson (Treasury) and Marion B. Folsom (Health, Education and Welfare), into the Cabinet room to pose for pictures, then sent them on their way with a parting pep talk: "In the year of 1964, we are not determining the future of our parties. But we are determining the fate and fortune of America itself--and of the cause we are privileged to lead. I commend all of you not only on the choice you have made for your country, but on your courage in now assuming the responsibility of your convictions."

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