Piano Lesson

Jimmy Durante would be the first to admit that he would never qualify as a deep student of scientific theory. But last week, one of the Old Schnozz's nightclub specialities--piano wrecking--was becoming the newest college campus craze, and all in the name of science.

Unlike Durante, who tears pianos apart with his bare hands, collegiate wreckers use axes, sledge hammers, iron wedges, crowbars and brooms. Working against the clock, the students must batter a piano into pieces small enough to be passed through a hole in a board 20 cm. (7.87 in.) in diameter. The sport got its start at Britain's Derby College of Technology, where the best time was 14 min. 3 sec. Then, at Caltech, members of the Reduction Study Group claimed the piano-demolition championship by crippling a keyboard in 10 min. 44.4 seconds. But records are made to be broken. Last week students at Detroit's Wayne State University reduced an old fraternity piano into kindling in 4 min. 51 sec.

Unlike cramming bodies into telephone booths or rotating in Laundromat dryers, piano reduction is supposed to be scientific team tomfoolery with a high purpose. Explained Caltech Piano Reducer Robert W. Diller, head of the team: "Piano reduction has psychological implications which are pretty dear to us. It's a satire on the obsolescence of today's society. We're sending out a brochure to see if we can get competition started all over the world. We'll start with the Paris Conservatoire and the Juilliard School of Music."

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