The First Family

A leading Chicago store reported sales as "phenomenal"--the hottest selling item in 14 years. In Atlanta a distributor was going out to greet plane shipments at 2:30 in the morning. A Dallas distributor was biting his nails waiting for his order of 30,000 copies. In Washington another distributor crowed: "It's beyond our entire experience, and we've been in business 15 years!" Said a Miamian: "Like people are going crazy, man! The demand exceeds our supply by the thousands--I don't mean hundreds. I mean thousands!" Said a Boston record man: "I'm not even answering my phone any more."

Wispy & Whispery. All the hustle and hubbub was about an LP platter called The First Family, starring a young (26) comic named Vaughn Meader, who does a frequently riotous impersonation of Jack Kennedy. Meader's intonation, rhythm and broad Bostonian accent are good enough to fool any Jacqueline. The series of skits that comprise the record also include a wonderfully wispy, whispery impersonation of Jackie herself, played by Naomi Brossart. Most of it is not wit but gags, and the gags are not all top-drawer, though they are greeted as such by one of those irritating studio audiences ready to laugh loudly on cue. It's the Kennedy sound that saves it.

In an after-dinner conversation, conducted like a press conference, Jackie asks why "you didn't touch your salad." Replies Jack: "Well, let me say this about that. Now number one in my opinion the uh fault does not lie as much with the salad as it does with the uh dressing being used on the salad. Now let me say that I have nothing against the dairy industry. However, I would prefer that uh in the future we stuck to coleslaw." At bedtime, Jackie complains: "Family, family, family. Jack, there's just too much family. Can't we ever get away alone?" Jack: "Tomorrow. I uh promise tomorrow we'll go away together. No more family for a while. Now I promise. Now uh turn off the light . . . Good night Jackie . . . Good night Bobby . . . Good night Ethel . . . [Voices]: Good night Peter . . . Good night Caroline . . . Good night Teddy . . . " One of the Few. To the house nurse, who complains that Caroline's and Baby John's toys are getting mixed up in the bathtub, Jack explains: "Yes, well, let me make a judgment about that. Now the uh following toys have been appropriated for tub use: 18 PT boats, three uh Yogi Bear uh beach balls, two Howdy Doody plastic uh bouncing clowns, a ball of uh Silly Putty and a rubber swan. Now, let me make a uh judgment on the dispersal of these items. Nine of the PT boats, two of the Yogi Bear uh beach balls, the uh ball of Silly Putty belong to uh Caroline. Nine of the PT boats, one of the Yogi uh Bear uh beach balls and the uh two Howdy Doody plastic bouncing clowns are Baby John's . . . The rubber swan is mine."

By last week, The First Family, made by Cadence Records Inc., had become one of the wackiest hits in U.S. history, with orders rushing way beyond 1,000,000 copies in the two weeks it has been on the market. According to White House Press Secretary Pierre Salinger, the President has not yet heard the recording. If so, he will shortly be one of the few Americans who haven't.

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