The Wackiest Ship in the Army. A World War II farce about a rickety schooner's passage through a Jap-infested ocean is floated only through the splendiferous shenanigans of Jack Lemmon, whose comic art portrays the hopelessly normal joe in hopelessly insane situations.

Where the Boys Are. A corny, raucous outburst of sorority sex-talk on Florida spring vacations that intellectual moviegoers will loathe themselves for liking.

Ballad of a Soldier (in Russian). The vehemently original, vibrantly beautiful, richly humorous story of a 19-year-old soldier's furlough trip across battle-churned Russia.

The Grass Is Greener. A British comedy of manors is skillfully brought off by Gary Grant, as an earl who opens his stately home to the public and is cuckolded by Robert Mitchum, playing a cartoon American.

Make Mine Mink. British Comedian Terry-Thomas' usual weedy charm and blithering idiocy enliven a piece about a retired major turned modern Robin Hood.

Other notable current attractions: The Angry Silence, Tunes of Glory, Exodus, The Sundowners and The Virgin Spring.

TELEVISION

Tues., Jan. 24

Expedition! (ABC, 7-7:30 p.m.).* "The Lost World of the Kalahari," a safari to find the last of the Bushmen.

The Red Skelton Show (CBS, 9:30-10 p.m.). A spontaneous, taped tete-a-tete between Jackie Gleason and Arthur Godfrey fills in for the recuperating Skelton.

Wed., Jan. 25

Perry Como's Music Hall (NBC, 9-10 p.m.). Peggy Lee and Shelley Berman enliven the Comotose, always dependable proceedings. Color.

The United States Steel Hour (CBS, 10-11 p.m.). "The Devil Makes Sunday," a story of rebellion in an island penal colony near Australia, serves to introduce Actress Brooke Hayward, 23-year-old daughter of the late Margaret Sullavan and Leland Hayward.

Fri., Jan. 27

Sing Along with Mitch (NBC, 9-10 p.m.). Premiere of biweekly Mitch Miller show that promises to become the biggest, most atonal intercommunity sing in history. Color.

Sat., Jan. 28

Professional Basketball (NBC, 1:30-4 p.m.). New York Knickerbockers v. Philadelphia Warriors.

Championship College Basketball (ABC, 2 p.m. to final buzzer). Marquette v. Bradley.

The Nation's Future (NBC, 9:30-10 p.m.). Prominent Cincinnati Attorney and Episcopal Layman Charles P. Taft takes the affirmative on "Should a Church Pulpit Be a Political Rostrum?" The naysayer: Roman Catholic Layman William F. Buckley, editor of the spiky, ultra-conservative National Review.

Fight of the Week (ABC, 10 p.m. to conclusion). Florentine Fernandez, hard-punching Cuban welterweight, battles veteran Middleweight Rory Calhoun.

Sun., Jan. 29

Directions '61 (ABC, 1-1:30 p.m.). The religious program offers Jewish folk songs by Theodore Bikel.

Twentieth Century (CBS, 6:30-7 p.m.). "Ireland: The Tear and the Smile," the first of a two-program report, with guests ranging from Eamon de Valera to Brendan Behan.

The Dinah Shore Show (NBC, 9-10 p.m.). "Swinging at the Summit," a not entirely exaggerated description of Dinah Shore's guest list, which includes Kay Starr, Tony Bennett, Harpo Marx, George Shearing and Louis Armstrong. Color.

Winston Churchill: The Valiant Years (ABC, 10:30-11 p.m.). The Bismarck and the Hood go down, and the Nazi U-boats rule the waves in "Struggle at Sea."

THEATER

Midway in a middling Broadway season, the most notable new plays include Rhinoceros, by Eugene lonesco, France's perky avant-gardist, whose farcical-satirical assault on conformity is somewhat obvious and farfetched, but also exhilarating--particularly when Star Zero Mostel virtually turns himself into a rhinoceros onstage; All the Way Home, a life-affirming adaptation of James Agee's Knoxville chronicle, A Death in the Family; Advise and Consent, a superficial but suspenseful political melodrama based on the Allen Drury bestseller; A Taste of Honey, an episodic but unblinkingly truthful first play about a desperately lonely girl, brilliantly performed by Joan Plowright; and Period of Adjustment, a comedy in which Tennessee Williams turns marital counselor in an unprecedentedly optimistic work that displays more deftness than depth. Among last season's worthiest survivors: Lillian Hellman's corrosive Toys in the Attic; Paddy Chayefsky's sensitive, mystic and comic The Tenth Man; and The Miracle Worker, the superbly acted story of young Helen Keller and her teacher.

Of the musicals, Camelot is very much worth seeing for the splendor of its sets, the best of its Lerner-Loewe tunes, and its stars, Richard Burton and Julie Andrews. Do Re Mi, with a story of jukebox racketeering that is mere rundown Runyon, is almost saved by Phil Silvers and Nancy Walker; and the best of the lot may well be the pert, piquant French import, Irma La Douce, with delightful Dynamo Elizabeth Seal. The holdovers --not counting the perennials such as My Fair Lady and The Music Man--are topped by Fiorello!, an unpretentious reminiscence of the Little Flower, and Bye Bye Birdie, a sprightly spoof of an Elvis-type monster.

In a class by themselves: An Evening with Mike Nichols and Elaine May, a sharply satirical potpourri of skits and improvisations, and Show Girl, a slight but sprightly revue in which Carol Channing neatly gets her hoofs, lungs and, above all, her sharp teeth into show business.

*All times E.S.T.

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