Age of Enlightenment. In Phoenix, Ariz., Assistant Fire Chief E. J. Mclndoo turned in a succinct report: "Cause of fire--man searching for gas leak with a match. He found it."

Natural Berth. In Trenton, N.J., the state senate referred a bill concerning maternity hospitals to the labor committee.

For Whom the Bells Toll. In Bilston, Staffordshire, England, after years of awarding prayer books to confirmation candidates, St. Leonard's Church decided to switch to alarm clocks.

Derailed. In Casper. Wyo., a master of ceremonies at a state trucking association meeting was roundly booed when he asked members to join him in a rollicking chorus of I've Been Working on the Railroad.

Nap Gap. In Baltimore, following a long commencement program at the Bryn Mawr School, Gordon F. Scheckells was rushed to the hospital with his jaw locked open from an excessively wide yawn.

Juicy Case. In Cincinnati, Rita Adams was awarded a divorce because her husband Earl never talked to her, just did "odd things like squeezing a tomato in my face."

Shell Shock. In Waverly Hall, Ga., Joseph D. Miller's small foreign car veered off the road and turned turtle after running over a tortoise.

Silver Lining. In Gooding, Idaho, the state School for the Deaf and Blind got around to presenting Mrs. Ted Biddulph with her $5 prize 40 years after she had won a contest for naming the institution's monthly magazine, the Optimist.

One to Grow On. In Grise Fjord, on Ellesmere Island, Canada, unable to read the instructions for assembling five prefabricated houses, a group of Eskimos did the best they could, built six.

Male Man. In Homestead, Fla., Postman Walter Stiles was given two weeks' notice for "conduct unbecoming a Government employee" after his picture appeared in a national nudist magazine.

Broken Record. In Cedar Rapids, Iowa, when their names were called to receive perfect-attendance awards at Class Day exercises at the Buchanan School, Kindergartners Roxanne Davis and Richard Hawkins were absent.

Table Hoppers. In Thetford, England, a general and two other senior guests of honor arose at the end of a formal military banquet, started to leave the room, found that the table was following them because a practical joker had lashed their ankles to its legs.

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