Gutter Ball. In Spencerville, Ohio, after bowling an exasperating 109 game, Paul Page marched out of the Lyn Lee Lanes, lofted his ball into the Miami and Erie Canal.

Sultans of Swat. In Istanbul, Turkey, during an all-out effort to rid the city of flies, the Municipal Health Department directed its entire staff to spend their lunch hour killing the insects, required each to turn in a casualty report.

The Eyes Have It. In Memphis, after a police officer described him as a drunken driver because of his "glassy stare,'' Defendant Robert Malone took the stand and removed his glass left eye.

Squeeze Play. In Stockton, Calif., the Industrial Accident Commission awarded Women's Wear Clerk Betty Owens $1,000 for a back injury suffered while squeezing a 250-lb. customer into a corset.

Bonbon's Bang. In Green Bay, Wis., Housewife Peggy Wolf bit into what appeared to be a piece of candy, suffered a slight concussion when it turned out to be a firecracker.

Wet Blanket. In Miami Beach, after being asked to dive into a swimming pool at the climax of the Waterworks Association's annual convention, Jackie Johnsen, Miss American Waterworks of 1960, declined the honor, explaining: "I'm afraid of the water."

Barnstorming. In Foyil, Okla., after trying to decide what to do with the half of his barn that had survived a storm, Farmer Burt Quigley slept on the problem, woke up to find the remaining portion had been blown down by a second storm.

Peddle-Pusher. In Montreal, Antonio Labrecque was fined $10 for unlicensed peddling of signs reading "No Peddlers Allowed."

Still Waters. In Sherwood, Tenn., townsfolk found their drinking water had been given a kick from waste flowing into the reservoir from a nearby moonshining operation.

Fan Tan. In Cajon Pass, Calif., the Oakdale Ranch nudist camp's monthly Nudesletter reported that "nudist camps were started by a group of sunbathers who, in their search for a perfect tan, were determined to leave no stern untoned."

Lowering the Boom. In Paris, police launched an antinoise campaign with a new regulation for apartment dwellers: "It is forbidden to inconvenience neighbors by excessive noises from phonographs, television sets, radios, firecrackers, fireworks and gunshots."

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