Prophet Sharing. In Melbourne, thieves broke open the Rev. Alfred Bligh's safe, found only notes for a sermon titled "Will a Man Rob God?"

Housewarming. In Pickett, Wis.. John Klepp, 45. angered because his wife went to bed without washing the dishes, burned down the house.

Gift of Gab. In Yonkers, N.Y., after Patrick Crough. 53, was robbed of $8 by two gunmen, he told them such a hard-luck story that they gave him $10.

Proof Positive. In Geneva, World Health Organization officials sent out invitations to a showing of the movie Alcohol and Alcoholism, assured guests that "cocktails will be served."

Grass-Roots Campaign. In Kitwe, Northern Rhodesia, the campaign slogan of Undertaker Con Oelofson, a candidate for municipal office, is: "The last man to let you down."

Nabbed Nabber. In Reno, Patrolman Nolan A. Glahn spotted two suspicious-looking men in the office of the El Rancho Motel, went to investigate, was robbed of $80 and clapped in his own handcuffs.

Skirting Justice. In Vancouver, B.C., Motorist James Robertson, 22, accused of leaving the scene of an accident, told the court that "I was afraid my wife would find out I had been out with another woman," won a dismissal.

Class Dismissed. In San Francisco, Rookie Patrolman Keith Scott was fired after he overslept for an 8 a.m. police class, jumped into his Jaguar, took off at such speed that he lost control and crashed into another cop's car.

Leap Year. In London, after Michael Moore, 33, serving four years for burglary, was allowed out of his Pentonville Prison cell to marry Hazel Dunphey in a nearby church, he went through the ceremony with two police escorts watching, signed the register, kissed his bride, dashed up the aisle and escaped.

First Installment. In Columbia, S.C., State Income Tax Director Dawson Beattie received a card which read, "I have been informed by one of your agents that I may pay my state income tax by the quarter," and to which the taxpayer had glued one 25-c- piece.

Tranceformation. In Albany, N.Y., when Newlywed Irish Lashin, 20, went back to her parents' home, after eloping, to pick up some clothes and failed to return, her husband, Hypnotist Albert M. Herman, 33, charged that her parents, who opposed the marriage, had taken her to a professional rival "who put her under some sort of hypnotic spell."

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