Political Assets. In Frankfort, Ky., after winning the Republican primary for state attorney general, Samuel S. Cannon reported his campaign costs: $2 for a photograph, 50-c- for stamps.

Sanctuary. In Edmonton, Alta., arrested for causing a disturbance in a family squabble, Mark Wing got a six-month suspended sentence after he pleaded: "Please, I want to spend my life in jail rather than return to my wife."

Liquidation. In New Castle, Pa., police, looking for a parking meter that someone had uprooted, found it at the bottom of the Shenango River.

Making Her Mark. In Sacramento, Calif., charged with passing forged checks, Ellen Harris mused: "I guess this ruins my plans to study criminology and become a policewoman."

Hard Sell. In Birmingham, arrested for throwing a garbage can through the plate-glass window of a loan company, Arthur Bostian explained: "I was trying to draw attention to Governor Patterson's fight against loan sharks."

Turn for the Worse. In Napier, New Zealand, a school bus was held up for 15 minutes after Passenger David Hill swallowed the ignition key.

Mitigation. In El Paso, pleading guilty to stealing and cashing a Government check, Mrs. Marguerite Quintaro told the judge: "I didn't think it was wrong to steal from my mother-in-law."

Privileged Class. In Milwaukee, before Detective Charles Littnan arrested a 19-year-old he was chasing on suspicion of burglary, the boy shouted back: "You can't shoot me. I'm a teen-ager."

Between the Lines. In Toronto, Ont., Palmist Jean Long read a young woman's palm, "You'll be successful and helpful to others." next day was fined $25 for fortunetelling when her client turned out to be a policewoman.

Sales Pitch. In Randolph Township, N.J., Repairman John Notari was fined $275 for paying teen-agers to break neon signs so that he could get the job of repairing them.

Scattered Returns. In Adelaide, Australia, after failing to blow an insurance office safe, a burglar phoned police, warned of an explosion.

Windfall. In Hartford, Conn., after stirring up a row when he announced that police would use unmarked cars to catch speeders, State Police Commissioner Leo J. Mulcahy felt vindicated when someone slashed the tires of eleven well-marked patrol cars outside the police barracks.

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