Flash. In Victoria, B.C., a 13-year-old boy reported to radio station CDKA that his family barn burned down, won $2 for the best news tip of the day, later confessed that he started the fire.

Give & Take. In Salt Lake City, when she returned to her parked car, Joann Nordgren found her purse missing and a prim note: "It is unwise to leave a purse in an unlocked automobile."

Balanced Budget. In Bingol, Turkey, after he brought back a young beauty to marry his son but found that the son had meanwhile married another, Suleyman Mahci decided not to waste the dowry money, married the girl himself.

To the Point. In Manila, P.I., after police reported four killings in a month by primitive weapons, Mayor Arsenic Lacson proposed an ordinance requiring licenses for possession of bows and arrows, blowpipes and darts.

Moving Ahead. In Stafford, England, Burglar Leslie Thompson was jailed for three years after he got a bank loan to "expand his business," used the money to buy a van for hauling his loot.

With Seasoning. In Los Angeles, Sam Lieberman won a divorce from his third wife after testifying: "She said for me to do my own cooking. If I do my own cooking, why should I need a wife?"

The Vanishing Male. In Toronto, Ont., sadly announcing that for the first time in 102 years there would be no award for the dog-hero-of-the-year, the Humane Society explained: "Pampered living has ended the day of the city he-dogs.''

Rerun. In Yamamoto, Japan, after serving a year in prison for stealing a TV set from a private home, Shuhei Ito again tried for the same set, was arrested and sentenced to another year in the same cell.

Return Bout. In Abilene, Texas, after calling the cops when her husband hit her, an irate housewife refused to sign a complaint, explained: "I'll whip him myself."

Happy Ending. In Winston-Salem, N.C., after R. L. Moore, proprietor of a gun shop, had the name of the street he was on changed to Gunsmoke, a group of disgruntled church members petitioned to have it changed to Joylight.

Chink in the Armor. In Alfreton,'England, when the government told Farmer Samuel Critchlow that he must stop neglecting his venerable 15th century manor house, which is lacking part of its roof, has tomatoes blooming in the banquet hall and sweet peas growing in the dungeon, he explained, "The real blame lies with Oliver Cromwell, who came here with his cannon."

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