Career Man. In Taipei, Formosa, the China Post reported speculation as to why Dr. Shen Chang-huan had been appointed Ambassador to Spain: "Because the last two words of his name sound like Don Juan; because he knows how to dance the tango; because he was born in the year of the Bull."

Rule of Thumb. In Niles, Mich., two teen-agers arrested for stealing a car explained to the municipal court judge that they borrowed it because hitchhiking is against the law.

Ham. In Exeter, England, while Mrs. Diana Suthrell was waiting to receive a blue ribbon at an agricultural show, her prizewinning boar bit her on the hand.

After Due Libation. In Williamson, W. Va., after returning a guilty verdict in a first-degree murder trial, eight members of the jury of Mingo County Circuit Court were found guilty of contempt and fined $25 each for drinking beer and whisky while deliberating in a hotel room.

Piece by Piece. In Saint John, N.B., collared by a cop after he tore up a parking ticket, Fred Flint was fined $1 for illegal parking, $5 for littering the street.

Fireless Cooker. In Pacoima, Calif., arrested on suspicion of shoplifting a dressed chicken, Gene Woods explained that he put the bird under his shirt to keep it warm.

Autobiography. In Boston, the Globe ran a classified ad: "For sale--wedding gown, never used, size 14; baby carriage, reasonable."

Heirloom. In Fulton, N.Y., Eugene Crumpton was jailed for 50 days after giving his girl an engagement ring he had stolen from her grandmother.

Bar Bill. In Fort Lauderdale, Fla., while holding their annual convention at the Galt Ocean Mile Hotel, the 200 members of the Florida Chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous consumed 449 gallons of coffee in three days, polished off another 35 gallons at a single banquet.

Property Settlement. In Charlotte, N.C., after reporting his car stolen, George W. Atkins was arrested on bigamy charges when police found that the person who took the car was one of his two wives.

Dead Heat. In Melbourne, Australia, research uncovered the scattered remains of the great race horse Carbine (1890-1914), one hoof at Victoria Racing Club, one hoof in possession of an English duke, the body skeleton at Melbourne's National Museum, the head at the Auckland, N.Z. War Memorial Museum, the hide as upholstery of the president's chair at the Auckland Racing Club.

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