Art Lesson. In Southfield, Mich., High School Teacher Richard Welkenbach keeps discipline by writing on the blackboard, "I'm in a bad mood today," and adding a drawing of a bullwhip.

The Big Eye. In Pueblo, Colo., fined $50 for his second traffic violation in a year, Fred Innes Jr. asked, "How can a man be a good driver if the police are always watching him?"

Brief In Quemoy, Judge Hu Tao-hui resigned under fire after he granted a divorce without hearing the husband's side, then later married the divorcee.

Time, Gentlemen. In Columbus, Ohio, burglars who had broken into the Honky Tonk Grill told a man trying to get in, "Sorry, buddy, we're closed," learned when the police picked them up that they had given the brushoff to the owner.

Across the Board. In Memphis, police arrested James Earl Marshall for practicing medicine without a license after he had advertised that he could heal the "lame, sick and blind, and show you how to get easy money, a good car, a home and many other things you need."

Homework. In Reno, four instructors of a Stead A.F.B. survival training course called "sneaking and peeking" were caught sneaking and peeking late at night at a University of Nevada woman's dormitory.

Flight of Fancy. In Clayton, Mo., among the 500 books recently donated to the county-jail library is one titled Love Can Open Prison Doors.

Throw Down the Gimlet. In Ipswich, Australia, arrested for drunken driving after he had spent three hours drinking rum, whisky, vodka, schnapps, wine and beer, Neville J. Eraser boasted: "I can still drink you cops under the table."

High Tension. In Hatboro, Pa., Ralph Kufen returned from a trip to an electrical repairmen's convention after hearing that his house had caught fire because of faulty wiring.

Success Story. In Miami, the Herald ran a classified ad: "Gold mine, get rich quick and retire early, 100% profit, very lucrative business. Reason for selling: business bankrupt."

Traffic School. In Milwaukee, Leo Stoll was fined $100 after he put a pistol to a cabby's head, said, "If you don't drive carefully, I'm going to kill you."

Out on a Limb. In Cologne, Germany, arrested for sitting in a tree in the rain and peeking at a girl through her window, a man explained that he intended to propose to someone but wanted to be sure she was a good housekeeper.

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