Knock First, Sour Kraut, etc. In Hamburg, West Germany, after a rash of mysterious signs (small crosses, arrows) appeared on houses all over the city, police learned that they represented a secret code among door-to-door salesmen.

No Fair. In Brussels, the city fathers closed off and condemned the Rue du Paradis.

Wake Off. In Los Angeles, the Utter McKinley mortuary chain (14 conveniently located parlors) sent to city employees wallet-sized lavender cards that said: "Bearer or any member of his family is entitled to a courtesy discount of 10% to 15%."

Yankee Dollars. In Maracaibo, Venezuela, Javier Gonzalez' dentist grabbed him on the street, took back the gold teeth Javier had not paid for.

Ochlophobia. In Bumble Bee, Ariz, (four houses, one general store), Prospector Don Netherlan, 81, was missing for two weeks, later explained to worried friends:"! just had to get out of the city."

Lobe Trotter. In Wilmington, Del., a letter turned up at the post office bearing a glueless stamp held in place by an earring.

Paint Your Wagon. In Sydney, Australia, a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, reformed after 25 years of boozing said: "I would love to write my life story, but I can't remember it."

Backlash. In Asheville, N.C., after a man walked out of George Huffmon's store with two fishing reels, George noticed that a hook had caught on the counter, followed the line out of the store and down the street two blocks into the coat pocket of Shoplifter Kyle Williams.

Soft Cell? In Burnaby, B.C., inmates being released from Oakalla Prison Farm got book matches on which was written:

THANK YOU -- COME AGAIN.

Shell Shock. In Manchester, England, Zoo Superintendent W. W. Wilson advised other zoos that all his emus were male, offered to trade for females, withdrew the offer when several Manchester emus began laying eggs.

Kit. In Titusville, Pa., a for-sale ad in the Herald offered wool blankets, furniture, a shotgun, a wedding ring.

Manifresco. In Czestochowa, Poland, according to Tygodnik Demokratyczny, police arrested two hustlers who had bought up all the portraits of Karl Marx they could find, painted halos over Marx's head, and were doing a brisk business selling them in front of a Czestochowa monastery as portraits of St. Joseph.

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.