Snob. In Sherman Oaks, Calif., when Robert Eschback was arrested on suspicion of pulling a stickup at a supermarket, he said he was never mixed up in that sort of thing: "I'm strictly a burglar."

Divining Rod. In Pittsburgh, while Clerk Marie Wray was showing a customer a surplus Army rifle, the gun pointed in the direction of Customer Chester Hoak, who threw up his arms, said. "I surrender," turned out to be wanted by police for passing bad checks in nearby stores.

Griefer. In Glendora, Calif., police arrested William Doyle, 20, and Ronald Manwill, 20, for planting marijuana in a cemetery.

Stoolies. In Ionia, Mich., guards noticed much excitement among the pigeons on the roof of the state reformatory, captured two inmates who were about to jump to freedom.

Pleased Number. In Keele, England, 17 students at the University College of North Staffordshire got into a phone booth at the same time--one more than the record number claimed by students at Manchester.

Numisguided. In Hermosa Beach, Calif., someone smashed a plate-glass window, stole 1-c---a 1909 Lincoln penny worth $50.

On the Rock. Near Tallahassee, Fla., members of the Pisgah Methodist Church listened to a sermon titled "Build Your Church on a Firm Foundation," then crawled under the building to get folding tables for a church dinner, found a 250-gallon cache of moonshine whisky.

Endwise. In Ottawa, Canadian Agriculture Minister Douglas Harkness sent an edict through his department saying that henceforth documents would refer to work as "completed," "concluded," or "finished," but under no circumstances would any work be "finalized."

Accessory. In Putnam, Conn., when Mechanic Hector Cote explained to a woman motorist that she had been having trouble with her car because she had been driving with the choke pulled out, the lady said: "Oh, I thought that was to hang my pocketbook on."

Tripe. In Burlington, Vt., an agricultural journal listed the contents of the stomach of a slaughtered bull: safety pins, bobby pins, cartridge casings, two rubber heels, a key chain, a set of gold dental bridgework, nine pennies, 16 nails, two plastic bags, a toy wristwatch, a gold watchband, a fishing spinner, five clothespins, six can lids, two hypodermic needles, two earrings, a broken pop bottle, 24 bottle caps, half an inner tube, a rubber doll.

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