Monday, Mar. 09, 1959
Synfll. In Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch,* a village in Wales, thieves stole the 2O-ft. sign from the railway station.
Cops & Daubers. In Wayne, N.J., the architect's specification sheet for the new Municipal Building lists all the police rooms, including the "Finger Paint Room."
Brave. In Pittsburg, Kans., learning of a possible interruption of the city's water supply, City Commissioner Lynn McCool anxiously declaimed: "We can go a day without drinking water, but we can't go that long without fire water."
Net Gain. In Effmgham, Ill., Mayor Paul Taylor (salary: $800 a year) advised future office seekers to "start at the top and run for dog catcher" (1958 earnings: $1,200).
Plug. In Bath, England, the city fathers announced that for the first time in two years the Bath water supply was full to the brim.
Progressive. In Stephenson, Mich., Michael Martin gave up his position as a member of the board of education to become janitor and bus driver for the elementary school.
Dress Conference. In Montpelier, Vt, when a reporter questioned Governor Robert Theadore Stafford about a bill to outlaw nudist colonies, the Governor said: "I haven't uncovered all the facts yet."
On Tap. In Franklinton, N.C., there were few complaints after state officers raided a still, emptied thousands of gallons of beer and whisky into a stream that fed the town's water supply.
Super Market. In Moscow, a female zoo attendant was caught stealing the elephants' share of wheat and the lions' share of meat.
The End. In Las Vegas, Nev., the hearses and funeral cars of Bunker Bros. Mortuary are painted baby blue.
Bobbies Sock. In Bridgwater, England, Referee Edwin Braund stopped a football match between two police teams because the players were using too many rough and illegal tactics.
Life of the Party. In Indianapolis, the Democratic sheriff's deputies were especially pleased when Democrat Mrs. Opal Kremer took over as county recorder, because her Republican predecessor had kept the door of the toilet locked, refusing to share it with Democrats.
*Meaning: "The Church of St. Mary in a hollow of white hazel, near a rapid whirlpool and near St. Tysilio's Church close to a red cave."
This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.