Law of the Jungle. In Thomasville, N.C., Gene Thomas Liverett, charged with boring a hole in the back of a parking meter, got a suspended sentence on condition that he not be found within 5 ft. of a parking meter for the next year.

Knowledge Is Power. In Memphis, First Grader Timothy Meadows, 6, proud of his reading ability after only two days at Kingsbury School, spied a sign on a red box labeled "Pull," pulled, sent 3,000 children streaming outside in an unrehearsed fire drill.

Senior Prompt. In Davenport, Iowa. Henry Zimmerman, 79, retired foundry inspector, entered St. Ambrose College as a freshman, explained: "I just got tired of loafing."

Net Loss. In Seattle, 15 biologists of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service staged their annual salmon-fishing derby in Puget Sound, checked in after 5 1/2 hours with one small salmon, a cod and a dwarfish red snapper, explained lamely: "We're trying to preserve the salmon."

Burden of Proof. In Warsaw, after a special court was opened to provide quick hearings on arrests for fighting and drunkenness, one of the first cases, involving two men nabbed in a brawl, was postponed because witnesses were too drunk to testify.

Without Taper. In London, Arnold Downham, 47, a clergyman's son, who was sentenced to nine years' preventive detention for stealing candlesticks, asked that the court take into consideration 82 previous offenses--all involving theft of candlesticks.

De Fenders of Justice. In Medina, Ohio. Truck Driver Charles Reed rounded a corner, collided with a deputy sheriff's parked car, which collided with a judge's car, which collided with a highway patrol car, but went scot-free because the sheriff's car was illegally parked too near the intersection.

Bending an Ankle? In Cooksville, Ont., John Kraycik, 59, accused of buying $257 worth of liquor in seven weeks and illegally offering it for sale, denied the charges, explained that he used the booze to sweeten his tea and "soak my feet," added: "I don't get drunk; I just feel good all day long."

The Shoe Fit. In San Antonio, after he had received an anonymous letter from a wronged husband who said that he intended to kill his cheating wife and her boy friend two days hence. Sheriff Owen Kilday read the message over station KITE and asked the would-be killer to give himself up, within two hours received calls from ten fearful women asking for police protection.

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