Snap. In Fort Huachuca, Ariz., National Guard Sergeant Joseph J. Palacio dislocated his shoulder as he saluted an officer.

Crater Desire. In Amsterdam, after Radiation Scientist Tibor Helvey announced that he was looking for two men and a woman willing to simulate living together on the moon for eight days, women volunteers outnumbered men volunteers four to one.

Self-Evident. In Northampton, Mass., Orlando Rosario was fined $100 for knifing Serian Cuevas during an argument over who was the better United States citizen.

Guide Piper. In San Antonio, when a knife-wielding hood accosted Jose Martinez Jr., Jose went right on walking, parried the man's threats until he had led him to the police station, where cops made the arrest.

Kiss & Break Up. In Los Angeles, Eva McCullough won a divorce from her husband for the third time, told the judge: "The only reason he married me the last time was to get even for our last divorce."

Under the Rug. In Jamestown, N.Y., the daily Sun printed a classified ad reporting the loss of a brown toupee, adding: "If found, call Midway Amusement Park and ask for Baldy."

With Onion. In Washington, D.C., Eddie Martini applied to the United States district court for permission to change his name to Edward Gibson.

Not Binding. In Manhattan, a delivery truck of Barnes & Noble, Inc., publishers of school and college textbooks, has the word PASS painted in large letters on the left side of its tail gate, the word FLUNK on the right.

Paroled Home Week. In Montville, Conn., ex-Inmate Richard Johnson was arrested trying to break his way back into the county jail.

Crook, Line & Sinker. In Sacramento, Calif., while Joe Borrego slept soundly in his hotel room, a thief using a bamboo pole with an attached hook fished through the transom, caught Borrego's trousers, portable radio, wristwatch, and wallet containing $185.

Smuggler. At Little St. Bernard Pass on the French-Italian frontier, a French priest was refused permission to take 50 bananas into Italy (where the importation of fruit is controlled by a state monopoly), sat in his car and ate 47 of them before giving up, handing the rest to gaping onlookers.

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