Ole an Egg. In Dayton, when a judge told Guillermo Angel Valerin that his fine for drunk and disorderly conduct would be "diez y ocho dolares y sesenta centavos" ($18.60), Mrs. Valerin said: "I'm sorry, judge, but we'd understand you much better if you spoke English."

Reelin' Through the Rye. In Marshfield, Wis., Edward W. Rottscheitt paid a $50 fine and lost his driver's license for drunkenly weaving around town on a lawnmower.

Professional Respect. In Walesby, England, after 19-year-old College Student Mike Devine flew from California to ask for the hand of Yolande Hempsall, her poultry-farming father readily gave permission because "we admired his pluck."

Tilt. In Jackson, Mich., someone made off with Farmer Fred Sandusky's windmill.

Something Borrowed. In Portland, Ore., Mrs. Frank Rose Jr. had her husband thrown in jail after she spotted a picture in the paper that showed him cutting a wedding cake with his new bride.

Cut! In Dunkirk, N.Y., police said they caught Samuel Miller hiding in a parked panel truck, taking telescopic movies of a supermarket manager working the store's combination safe.

Point Four Plan. In Coon Valley, Wis., where farmers have long been waiting for federal action on their application for a watershed flood control program, beavers moved in and built four dams.

Ins & Outs. In Trenton, N.J., trusties at New Jersey State Prison, sent into the street to retrieve home runs hit over the wall during an intramural ball game, called police to stop kids from stealing the baseballs before the trusties could get to them.

Front to Rear. In Calgary, Alta., Frederick Nelson Big Belly applied to change his name to Frederick Nelson Eagle Tail.

Proper Credentials. In Milan, Italy, a pickpocket on a crowded bus lifted Adamo Degli Occhi's wallet, gave it back with embarrassed apologies when he recognized Occhi as the attorney who helped him beat a pickpocket rap two months earlier.

Without Relish. In Denver, police impounded Lorentz Haugseth's car when they found that its inspection sticker was the label from a can of pork and beans.

Ultimate Weapon. In Palm Springs, Calif., after Georgia Mae Love hit her husband on the nose with a claw hammer, stabbed him in the arm with a steak knife, and tried to ram his truck with her Hillman Minx, police booked her for disturbing the peace, discovered a three-foot bullwhip in her brassiere.

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