No Sale. In Norfolk. Va., a petition of bankruptcy was filed by Jimmie Cash Register.

Off the Rack. In Salisbury, Southern Rhodesia, the Central African Federation's only nudist colony announced that it would buy a choice plot of ground featuring two wild fig trees.

Vanity Fair. In Toledo, Mrs. Patricia Parent, 19, was arrested for speeding, begged the cop, "Don't give me a break; I'm so cute, police keep letting me go, and I'm afraid I might have a serious accident," drew a $23 fine.

Plighted Troth. In Milwaukee, the wedding of Judith Bjorkland, 18, was postponed when the bride-to-be was caught shoplifting a wedding band for her bridegroom-to-be.

Taxi Stand. In Oakley, Idaho, 200 citizens pooled their efforts and built an airstrip for the town, because they were fed up with planes taking off and landing on the streets.

The Lower Instincts. In Winston-Salem, N.C., Mayor Marshall Kurfees began his congressional campaign with the slogan: "Put the jam on the lower shelf, where the little man can reach it."

Grace Note. In Sand Springs, Okla., a court granted the Rev. Gertie May Holt a divorce from the Rev. Homer Levi Holt when she testified that he had not received "the call," awarded the family Bible to her and the family guitar to him.

Ghost Rider. In Fulton, Ky., a man inquired about a round-trip rail ticket for the corpse of his brother, explained to the shaken agent that relatives in Seattle had convinced him that he could send the body west to be viewed more cheaply than they could travel to Kentucky.

Shy Locks. In Topeka, Kans., thieves broke into Elliott's lock shop, took $77 from a safe with a defective lock, $9.70 from a broken cash register.

Tabled. In Hamilton, Ohio, while a teen-ager charged with auto theft sat with head bowed and toyed with a piece of metal, Judge David Black heard the evidence, kindly put the young first offender on probation, later discovered the boy's initials in his courtroom's new mahogany table.

Braking It Gently. In Jennings, Mo., Monroe Strickler, convicted for failing to get new license plates, was asking the judge to postpone the fine because he was unemployed, when word reached the courtroom that the parking brake of his auto had slipped, causing it to roll downhill and smash into the prosecuting attorney's car.

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