Per Deum. In Manila, the Municipal Board refused to grant a travel allowance to Councilor Hermenegildo Gonzaga, offered instead a one-minute prayer for his safety abroad.

Hessian. In Birmingham. England. Nick Brookes, manager of a Royal S.P.C.A. home for the protection and care of animals, resigned to become handler of foxhounds for the West Warwickshire Hunt.

Educated Breath. In Memphis, a motorist was asked by a cop if he would submit to a drunkometer test, pulled himself together, said, "Yes, I'm a college graduate."

Soft Suds. In Palm Springs, Calif., when bus passage was denied John Henry Miller because he had had too much to drink, he complained to police: "I can't be drunk; I've only had 30 beers."

Pin Money. In Paterson, N.J.. Charles Alfier entered the Guarantee Meat Market in the predawn, tried to carry off the cash register, was found lying under it, pinned to the floor, when the store opened.

Crap Door. In Hartford, Conn., Dominick Granell was in a dice game that was raided by police, later complained that he was injured when he fell out a fourth-floor window while being chased by the law, sued the city for $15,000, settled for $490 at a pretrial hearing.

Subversive. In Perugia, Italy, Luigi Durante, in jail for theft, threw a rope over a hook in the ceiling of his cell, tried to hang himself, had four months added to his sentence when the hook pulled out of the ceiling and he was found guilty of "doing material damage to the state."

Keystone. In Chicago, Police Commissioner Timothy J. O'Connor suspended Sergeant Viator O'Gara for arriving at the scene of a stickup 43 minutes after the call was broadcast, then "standing there with a cigar in his mouth, his uniform coat unbuttoned and his hands in his pockets."

Eye the Jury. In Vancouver, B.C., Judge Alexander Manson warmly congratulated Alice O'Keefe for becoming the first woman ever chosen foreman of a jury in British Columbia, dismissed her after a Mountie recognized her and told the judge that she had a criminal record.

Stalagmight. In Liverpool, England, thieves scaled the 10-ft. wall of Walton Prison, got inside unnoticed, smashed a window and broke down a pair of 3-in. oak doors to get into the warden's office, cracked a safe, left the prison without attracting the attention of 200 jailers or disturbing the sleep of 900 prisoners.

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