Tally Forge. In Dallas, Leonard Bennett Burris, in jail for forgery, was made a trusty in the records division, juggled the dates on his own records to show that his term had begun three months before he was sentenced, also gave himself 113 days' credit for good behavior, walked out a free man.

C'est Si Bones. In Seattle, Pro Gambler Robert Dupree, who was hurt in an auto accident last year, claimed in court that his crap-shooting arm had been damaged, won a verdict for $9,500 after telling the court that "you have to get in an awkward position sometimes shooting dice, especially if you're trying to make a four the hard way."

Protective Custody. In Cincinnati, after an argument with his wife, Cyril Fisher heaved stones through three plate-glass windows, finally got police to put him in jail.

For What? In Salt Lake City, Police Chief W. Cleon Skousen declared that Probationary Officer Wayne Orton, whose off-duty driving record shows three accidents, seven arrests, four suspensions, "has an outstanding record."

Uncomibird with Education. In Texarkana, Tex., the Gazette gave a spelling test to screen job applicants (sample answers: mislanison for miscellaneous, axsesserys for accessories, vacon for vacuum, uncomibird for unencumbered), found just one person who could make a perfect score: a 45-year-old housewife with an eighth-grade education.

Across the Board. In Oklahoma City, while embezzlement charges were being filed against the president and vice president of Selected Investments Corp., the court learned that both men had applied for state unemployment checks.

Father Along. In Canterbury, England, 26 girls and Kenneth Evans, 13, competed in a "mothercraft" examination, and Kenneth won it.

Urned Income. In Los Angeles, Joe Chavers got his .lunch wagon stuck in the path of a Santa Fe passenger train, leaped to safety in the nick of time as the train hit the wagon, demolished everything but the coffee urn, from which Chavers sold hot java to the train crew and spectators.

Socratic Method. In Manhattan, a judge kept silencing Assistant District Attorney Burton Roberts' attempts to interrupt Defense Attorney Horacio Quinones, but recessed the court when Burton finally broke in to say: "I'm sorry, Your Honor, but in the interest of public health and justice, I must bring to the court's attention the fact that Mr. Quinones has just drunk a glass of Epsom salts in which I was bathing my finger."

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