Different Orbits. In Oswego, N.Y., a second-grade class began building a nine-foot-high interplanetary vehicle, ran into difficulties when the boys complained that "the girls want to put up curtains in our spaceship."

Competence Is No Excuse. In Kent County, Md., Goose Hunter Charles L. Ivens had one bird already in his bag, fired at another, brought down two geese at once, was arrested and fined in a federal court for exceeding the day's statutory limit of two.

The Customer Is Always Right. In Miami, F. Raymond Burke, who ran a firm that protected businessmen from passers of phony checks, was wanted for passing phony checks.

Name Dropper. In Gary, Ind., Peter Mandich, candidate for the Democratic nomination for Lake County sheriff, complained to the election board that his opponent. Peter Mandich, was capitalizing on his name.

And $2 for Carfare. In St. Paul, Insurance Clerk Myrtle Deyo got a prize of $1,002 from the suggestion committee of the St. Paul Fire & Marine Insurance Co. for suggesting that her own job be abolished.

Temperance. In Eton, England, a teacher at strait-laced Eton Public School said in an interview with a visiting American that the well-bred Etonians are permitted neither to smoke nor drink, and --in answer to the question "what about dates?"--said "Certainly, as long as they don't eat too many."

Provider. In Cincinnati, James Hart Jr., in court for robbing a grocery, asked for clemency, told the judge that he had no job and his wife and children were hungry, was convicted of stealing $10 worth of beer and wine.

Shear Luck. In Atwater, Calif., Bill Blasingame failed to stop his truck in time at a railway crossing, sat helplessly while a passenger train clipped off the front end up to the windshield; stepped out on wobbly legs.

Got the Bird. In Deep River, Conn., Ronald G. Hagg, found guilty of swerving his car to kill a pheasant, was fined $50 for 1) using a motor vehicle in hunting, 2) hunting out of season, 3) hunting on Sunday, 4) driving on the wrong side of the road.

Point 4. In London, Mrs. Glorida Roden testified in a divorce suit that on four separate occasions when she asked her husband what he would like for his birthday, he answered: 1) 50,000 tons of caustic soda, 2) a statue of King George III, 3) a submarine, 4) a divorce.

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