Roving Assignment. In Salt Lake City, convicts publishing the Utah state prison newspaper abruptly changed the masthead listing of escaped Editor Quay Kilburn from "Editor in Chief" to "Editor at Large."

Rush Decision. In Jal, N. Mex., Floy Wynn, editor and publisher of the weekly Record, suddenly decided to move the newspaper offices out of her home when she discovered that she was allergic to printer's ink.

Scattered Returns. In Columbus, Ohio, Chief George W. Scholer announced that there would be a second voting for officers of the Police Athletic Association after the first election revealed that 295 voters had cast 365 ballots.

Mash Note. In Vonore, Tenn., Moonshiner Bill White, arrested by federal agents after he built a still in his front yard, explained: "There's no use putting the still back in the mountains, because you'd find it anyway."

Headquarters. In Mexico City, Jose Miguel Belio, arrested with wife Isabel for fishing pesos from a church alms box with a stick dipped in tar, told police: "I am innocent. Isn't money from the alms box given to the poor? Well, we are poor as hell."

Combat Fatigue. In North Philadelphia, after Hagop Kooyoomijian, 53, for the 14th time in his life, chased an armed hold-up man out of his delicatessen, he explained: "I'm not afraid of their guns; I have a heart condition and may die anyway."

Against the Grain. In Green Bay, Wis., Police Radio Dispatcher Harold Compton, getting a complaint that two cars were going the wrong way on a one-way street, asked Car 44 to check, got the reply: "I'm one of those cars, and I'm pushing the other one."

Temper Fidelis. In Brisbane, Australia, a Supreme Court granted a divorce to Firewood Merchant Arthur H. Trulock after he testified that his wife made him sleep in a stable, bandaged her head and screamed that he had beaten her, paraded naked in the yard, ruined his business by intercepting customer orders, poisoned his chickens and dogs, threw his meals at him.

Poetic Justice. In Jersey City, Samuel Silverman, 22, in jail awaiting trial on a check forgery charge, casually scribbled a verse that police promptly confiscated as evidence:

I bounced a check,

A cop bounced me.

The Judge said "Son,

You'll do about three."

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