Permissiveness for Parents

Though the millions of squalling young Americans whose lives would be most affected knew nothing about it, there was Dig news for babies this week. Clattering off the presses was a revised version of the gospel by which half a U.S. generation has been raised: The Common Sense Book of Baby and Child Care, by Pediatrician Benjamin McLane Spock (Duell, Sloan & Pearce, $5; Pocket Books, 50-c-). To the original edition, which has sold more than 9,000,000 copies since 1946, Author Spock has added some 100 pages. The gist of his revisions and additions reflects the changing climate of the past decade: parents ought to be more permissive toward themselves, rely more on their own judgment and less on books--including Dr. Spock's.

"Trust Yourself." When Spock wrote his first edition, a pseudoscientific strictness, introduced in the 1920s, was the rule--"Don't pick up the baby when he cries, feed him only at precise four-hour intervals." Spock stepped to the head of the pediatricians who were trying to encourage greater flexibility in baby care. They succeeded too well, he now feels: "Nowadays there seems to be more chance of a conscientious parent's getting into trouble with permissiveness [toward children] than with strictness." Keynote of Spock's latest advice to parents: "Trust yourself." Instinct, he says, prompts most parents to give children the "natural loving care" needed in routine growth. All the emphasis on the child's needs--"for love, for understanding, for patience . . . for protection, for comradeship"--has given the impression that parents have no needs or rights. Not so, says Spock.

Parents who were themselves raised by a set code will tend to rear their children the same way. They should go ahead and do so with no qualms of conscience, advises the 1957 Spock, though they must make due allowance for the more relaxed atmosphere in families around them. They must not be overharsh but they have a right to get cross and spank the little darling when he has deliberately provoked anger--as he often does. What is more, he wants (at least unconsciously) to be disciplined and made to behave responsibly: "By keeping children on the right track, firmness also keeps them lovable. And they love us for keeping them out of trouble."

Two-Way Hate. Pediatrician Spock has waded hip-deep into the psychoanalytic interpretation of children's unconscious emotional reactions. Parents, he says, may have feelings of antagonism toward a child that seem too horrible for them to admit. The child absorbs the same dread of them, and develops fears of imaginary dangers that the psychiatrist finds are "disguises for ordinary angry feelings toward their parents." The solution: parents must realize that no matter how much they love their children, some antagonism toward them is natural. In more down-to-earth matters, the revised Spock contains these newly mined nuggets: P: Recommended inoculations are now far simpler than a decade ago, thanks to progress in developing the three-way D.P.T. shots against diphtheria, pertussis (whooping cough) and tetanus. Spock recommends three of these shots, beginning at one month. Also advised: vaccination against smallpox in the first year and three shots of Salk polio vaccine at whatever age the family's doctor recommends. P: Solid foods are to be added to baby's diet any time after he is three months old, but are not to be forced on the child just to satisfy some faddist theory or parental pride. "A big factor in giving solids earlier has been the eagerness of mothers who don't want their baby to be one day later than the baby up the street." P: On toilet training, the 1946 Spock went all out for letting children alone, warned parents that they must leave the youngsters free to follow their varying habits. Spock's 1957 bill of rights for parents extends to the potty: while parents are still warned not to be too rigid, they are invited to rely on their own judgment as to when to start toilet training. P: The pacifier, ignored in the first edition, is restored to respectability after a generation'of contemptuous neglect, as "helpful for colic and to prevent thumb-sucking."

This file is automatically generated by a robot program, so reader's discretion is required.