Dehydration. In Pampa, Texas, D. F. Gilliam was tossed into jail for 90 days for trying to stuff his wife and daughter into an electric clothes dryer.

Gathering Speed. In Los Angeles, nabbed for driving 110 m.p.h. on the Hollywood Freeway. Gerald A. Bird, 22, indignantly fumed: "I was only doing 100."

Shuffled Along. In Tulsa, arrested for drunken driving just after he had finished a game of shuffleboard, Corby Adams was declared not drunk when the court learned that he had won the game.

Slipping Business. In Glasgow, burglars broke into a grocery of the R. & J. Templeton chain, raided it for 8 Ibs. of butter, greased the floor with it, slid the safe to the door, where their getaway truck was waiting.

To Each His Own. In Denver, Bank Robber Clayton C. Kemp was nabbed as he boarded a bus, readily gave up the $11,200 loot, but when a cop grabbed the dollar bill he was clutching for bus fare, he yelled hotly: "Hey. that's my own money."

Winning Party. In Willimantic, Conn., a new election was ordered by the state labor relations board after the losing union protested that on election eve the firm laid on a beer party for all employees.

Blessed Singleness. In Santa Monica, Calif., Patricia Lee Powell, 23, won a divorce from the son of Cinemactor William Powell, after she testified that marriage to a man who wished to be a bachelor again made her life unbearable.

Name-Dropper. In Milwaukee, Marquette University Law School Senior Michael Peter Murray Jr., 27, filed a petition to change his middle name to Patrick because "an Irishman named Patrick enjoys certain social and business advantages."

For the Defense. In Shreveport, La., after his bookstore was robbed, Owner Henry Meyer made an inventory, discovered that not only $59 had been stolen, but also two copies of Not Guilty, a book about 36 cases in which the law miscarried and the innocent were convicted.

Bad Day at HQ. In Portland, Me., nabbed for disorderly conduct, Genevieve Lynch, 24, was being ushered into a cell when she tore the badge off the arresting patrolman, grabbed his tie and tried to choke him when he went after it, bit the leg of a second cop rushing in for the rescue, dug her teeth into the hand of a lieutenant who hoped to rescue his two casualties, was finally subdued and put in a cell by a fourth policeman who hurriedly slammed the cell door shut--square on his left hand.

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