Close Look. In East Hampton, Conn., Robert Hausman, 23, joined a crew of volunteers dragging a lake for a supposed drowning victim, finally realized that the fellow they were searching for was he.

Lady Luck. In Oklahoma City, Policeman R. W. Starr gallantly assisted a woman who was having trouble with a parking meter, banged it hard a couple of times, gave her a summons when a slug appeared behind the glass.

Burning Issue. In Tokyo, apologizing for its delay in filling orders for musical cigarette lighters that play I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire, the Japan Central Exchange Mail Order Service explained: "The factory burned down."

Small Point. In Fort Worth, after Sam Childers, 21, and his bride of four months "had words," he decided to spite her by using a 12-gauge shotgun to blast off his own toes, said in the hospital: "It wasn't a real argument."

The Cure. Near Olney, Ill., irritated by wasps that buzzed around the barn, Farm Hand Harold Weber decided to smoke them out, burned more than 5,000 bales of hay, 2,000 bushels of barley, 200 loads of manure, a utility shed, a garage, three drums of gasoline and the barn.

Tactical Diversion. In Rochester, after Charles Chiarenza was awakened by loud pounding on the kitchen door of his ground-floor apartment, sleepily groped for the light, investigated and found no one there, he returned to the bedroom just in time to see--but not to stop--a hand reach through the window, snatch his trousers and wallet.

Front Line. In Chicago, United Industrial Workers of America Local 286 President Angelo Inciso, an ex-convict under indictment for mismanagement of $420,267 worth of union funds, hired as the Local's "ethical practices director" a retired police captain who commented: "This is strictly a new venture."

Art Lesson. In London, Art Student William Green. 23, explained how he makes the paintings which he sells for as much as $280 each: place a large, fresh white canvas on the floor, pour paint and printer's ink on the canvas, jump up and down on the paint, dance and skip over the surface, ride over the canvas on a bicycle, soak the canvas in paraffin, shovel sand on the painting to give it "added texture."

Sole Searching. In Kensington, Conn., an FBI agent spotted new wires in his house, reasoned that someone was trying to tap his line, ripped them all out, shamefacedly learned that the wires had been specially installed for a hi-fi set his wife planned as a birthday present.

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