Heirloom? In Detroit, Fred Whiting, charged with carrying a concealed weapon, explained: "That blackjack really isn't mine, your honor. It belongs to my mother."

Friend Missing. In San Bernardino, Calif., C. W. Bumgardner, advertising for his lost dog, said that she carried her own leash, growled at strangers, was good with children, and would "fetch slippers, coffee, pipe and TV log on request."

Never Too Late. In Angola, La., 35 inmates of the state penitentiary signed up for Dale Carnegie courses on how to win friends and influence people.

Hot Prospect. In Fuquay-Varina, N.C., E. T. Burchett, auto salesman, explained to police why he chased an armed bandit who had just robbed a bank of $12,000: "I wanted to sell him a car and I knew he had some money."

Sex Newton. In Fresno, Calif., the Dried Fig Advisory Board ordered another 15,000 copies of its promotional pamphlet on learning that the public had snapped up the first 20,000 of The Love Life of a Fig.

Fine Grinding. In Wilmington, Del., John Dudek, 70, who lost a wallet containing $51.62 in 1929, was astounded when a woman rang his doorbell and handed him the wallet, explaining: "It was like a God-sent gift. But we're good Christian people, and for 28 years we thought, on and off, of the money. So we finally decided we'd better return it."

Aching Back. In Clinton, Iowa, Carl Martinsen, 74, gratefully submitted to a rheumatism "rubdown" treatment by a couple of sidewalk healers claiming to have curative powers, minutes later discovered his wallet with $2,200 was gone.

Ahead of the Game. In Philadelphia, a sign on a new restaurant reads: "Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese. Built 1957."

Nick of Time. In Sacramento, Juvenile Officer Robert Dunkeson finally caught a 13-year-old boy heard him admit to 15 burglaries, including five of Dunkeson's house, said: "I had to catch the kid. He was stealing me out of house and home."

Unfair Warning. In Kalamazoo, Mich., John Carter and a friend were fined $25 each for hobbling orderly law enforcement, after police found that just before a radar check point they had posted signs reading "Speed Trap."

Braking Time. In Toronto, Mrs. Marion (Ma) Vincent admitted in court that she had been a bootlegger for 15 years, but declared: "I ceased selling liquor six months ago, and two months ago I definitely stopped."

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