Clearance Sale. In Sydney, Australia. Mrs. Ingeborg Luise Wenskowski, 35, got her divorce on testimony that her husband offered her to a friend for $495, on a time payment plan.

Single Jeopardy. In Galena, Alaska, William Pete, 37, overjoyed at his acquittal on wife-beating charges, rushed over to thank the jury, burbled: "I promise never to beat her again."

Soft Sell. In Hollywood, the shoeshine boy outside the CBS building chipped away at actors' sales resistance by chalking on his shoe box a knowing come-on: "One Shoe Shined Free."

Demolarized. In Freeport, N.Y., Herbert Lamb reported to police that four young thugs had stripped him of all movables--65-c- in cash and his false teeth.

Just for Kicks? In Natick, Mass., the Army Quartermaster's Research and Development Center announced the establishment of an Industrial Advisory Committee on Military Shoe Laces.

Temporary Recession. In Sedgley, England, Cemetery Registrar Herbert Rouse reported that business had been slow, the number of interments "not up to expectations, but it is hoped during the year to see a great improvement."

Land, Ho! In Paris, Police Chief Robert Genebrier ruled that the minimum distance between saloons be increased from a navigable 150 ft. to a risky 225 ft.

Counterattack. In Youngstown. Ohio, when an elementary school was broken into, detectives traced the act to three small boys but failed to recover the one stolen item--the principal's paddle.

Rod Story. In Las Vegas, Nev.. Salesman Clyde Ashby was acquitted of charges of fishing in Lake Mead without a license when he protested that he was only trying to fish out a fishing rod lost in the lake.

The Id. In Rochester, Harold Skellen woke up after Saturday-night celebrations feeling so terrible that he went to a hospital, was treated there for a fractured left arm, a broken nose, two black eyes, and head and face cuts requiring 79 stitches.

Around End, No Gain. In Baltimore, Anthony Caminiti angrily tore his parking ticket into shreds, muttering, "If I've got to pay it, I guess I can do what I want with it." was promptly arrested for littering the streets.

Winter Romance. In London, Mrs. Grace Clawson won a divorce after testifying that she found a letter from another woman addressing her husband as "My Own Human Hot Water Bottle . . ."

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